tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31474388021079303252024-02-21T03:07:22.724-05:00 Shine BrightStarleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-36584532257442867172017-12-28T20:02:00.001-05:002017-12-28T20:02:06.998-05:00What is Love? Today my parents are celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary. It seems insane for me to have parents who are entering their 50th year of marriage. I wasn't always a cynic, but now in my late 20s, I'm constantly wondering if marriage is Worth It. Whatever "It" is. If we look throughout history, we see hundreds of thousands of marriages that have worked (by our own personal standards of course), and marriages that haven't, (Henry VIII, am I right?). <br />
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But I've never been a cynic when it comes to Sandy and Andy. Yes, those are my parents' real names, and my mom always adds "Ain't that handy?!" Before I go on, I would like to add the disclaimer that this post is not intended to suck up to my parents. But hey, if that happens, it's an added bonus. I guess I'm writing this to alleviate my own skepticism. And to thank them for showing my siblings and niece and nephews what love is. <br />
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My parents have known each other since they were 10. First of all...that's a long time. That means they've known each other for over 60 years. Think about your longest friendship. Now imagine promising your entire life to that person. It's so daunting. And yet, somehow, they've done it. And they've done it well. <br />
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When my dad was in undergrad at Penn State he worked hard during the week so he could spend time with my mom on the weekends. When he was getting his DVM, they were married at living in Ithaca and he would have a full day of classes and studying, and always set a time limit for when he would be finished for the night. And then they would spend time together. <strong>Time Management=Love.</strong> <br />
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Not only are they husband and wife, but they are also business partners. My dad got his license to practice veterinary medicine, and in 1973 they found a farm in south central PA, and set up shop. My mom has been his office manager ever since. Answering phones, building relationships with clients, organizing client cards and files...literally anything you can imagine. <strong>My mom has the true heart of a servant, and the patience of a saint=Love.</strong><br />
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My dad has worked so hard to provide for all of us. As a farmer, businessman and father, his first priority has always been family. I remember when I was little, he would be called out late at night to go on farm calls. I sometimes would see his tail lights going out the lane from the window in my room. My mom, sisters, and now my brother in law and niece and nephews, and myself, never wanted for anything. I feel so blessed, even in my moments of bratty, selfish behavior. <strong>The hard work and dedication of my amazing father=Love </strong><br />
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It's not a secret that I love food. I get that love from my family 100%. Growing up, one of my favorite smells was my mom's kitchen-molasses crinkles, pumpkin pie, tuna noodle casserole...my Aunt Honey's ham loaf. Hundreds of other recipes that she has passed along to my sisters. Meals were, and still are, a central part of our family. Just the other night my sister asked why stranger's baked goods didn't taste as good as the ones from our family. I replied "Because they aren't made with love." And as cheesy as it sounds, I really believe it. My mom loves to be in the kitchen, and she adds a special element to cooking, and I really think that ingredient is <strong>Love. </strong><br />
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One thing I've noticed about Sandy and Andy is their consistent willingness to help out others. They have always donate to causes they believe in, have helped local families in need, and for heaven's sake, they adopted me, and before that they were foster parents for many years. For as long as I can remember, our home was always a warm and cozy place for our family and friends. My mom would always remind me that selflessness is a way to show love because Jesus first loved us. <strong>Charity/Hospitality= Love. </strong><br />
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I think that as my parents enter their 50th year or marriage, I will be more intentional in how I view love and marriage. Less cynicism, and more optimism. The hope that I will be able to show love the way my parents have shown it throughout the course of their relationship. <br />
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So, here's to you J. Andrew and Sandy Lee: Thank you for loving each other and us so well. I love you guys and wish you more decades of happiness. <br />
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-25324042371686978422017-12-19T16:45:00.000-05:002017-12-19T16:47:32.360-05:00Here We Are. Again. <div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="41mqu" data-offset-key="fkd6q-0-0" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14.000000953674316px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="fkd6q-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">The last 48 hours have been insane. I thought all day about emotional labor, and how people expect it; how it's hard and awful, and how I tend to give it freely. Because of those thoughts, it seems counterintuitive to write this post, but, clearly, it's necessary. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Racism is heavy you guys. I don't talk about it to be divisive. I don't talk about it to be lauded as an expert. I don't talk about it to hear myself talk. I talk about it because if I don't, I become emotionally and physically ill. So here we are. Again.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6oit1-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Dear White Friends:</b> You might read my posts, and assume that you know my tone, intention, or my heart. But you don't, and you won't until you ask me. And when/if you decide to ask me, come to me privately. Not because I have something to hide, but because that shows me you are ready to close your mouth and open your ears to hear my experiences and my stories. If your attitude is to come to me prepared to argue, that shows me that you aren't truly ready to listen. And I want you to know that that's okay. There's a learning curve. I've been on that journey my whole life. I'm still breaking down stereotypes and internalized assumptions I have about people of color or other marginalized groups. It's not easy. You will be uncomfortable. But at some point, this pathway is going to catch up to you, and someone who is less forgiving than me is going to confront you. And it's not going to be pretty. (See my last point below.)</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6ud3e-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Emotional labor is real.</b> It's hard, and it's intense, and honestly, POC have been doing so much Work for people who have the internet at their fingertips. If you have a broad question, Google it. There are hundreds of articles on racial reconciliation. Those are good places to start. Those folks are worth your time, but also worth your money. We talk about the socio-economic divide between caucasians and POC. When I say "support a business that's owned by a person of color!" that isn't furthering the divide...it is literally a small way to close the economic gap that is so present in our communities. To suggest that it's divisive is ignorant at best. If you're worried about furthering the divide, do your part to close it, and support businesses owned by POC. It's pretty simple.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6ud3e-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Really think about what you want to say or ask before you say or ask it.</b> I know that's rich coming from me, possibly the most impulsive person you know...but it's so worth it. A good way to check this is to say: would I say this to or ask this of my black coworker/friend/cashier at the supermarket? If the answer is "no, I wouldn't," Google it. There's an answer out there on the internet, I promise.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6ud3e-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Prepare to get educated. </b>If you do say or ask something on a post from a POC, just know that we have an army of friends who will educate you. It's not going to be pretty. They'll probably be petty, and frustrated...and that's because this is the emotional labor that we do all. the. time. And for that same reason: <b>Prepare to not have your questions answered right away.</b></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6ud3e-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">If you've found any of this helpful, let me know. If you want to discuss any of this further, buy me coffee, or have me over for food, and we will chat. Most importantly, prepare to get uncomfortable, because that's where the real work starts. </span></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-76995371738243848112017-11-09T18:47:00.000-05:002017-11-09T18:47:16.224-05:00A Return to The Page <br />
A year has gone by since <a href="http://shinebright88.blogspot.com/2016/09/to-people-back-home.html" target="_blank">my last blog post.</a> It wasn't the nicest thing I had ever written, but it was my Truth at the time and I needed to say it. I don't regret it, and it's linked right there if you want to read it. This is not an apology for that piece. this is simply...an explanation of a transition. <div>
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A lot has happened in the last year. Because of my family, my therapist, and my dozens of friends, I have managed to almost completely heal from a heartbreaking end of a relationship, which is HUGE, and not something to discuss here. (Most of you have heard it all already...that I am actually apologizing for. So boring.) </div>
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But also in the last year, I've started writing my book, I've managed job woes and real-life adult responsibilities, I've tackled some tough medical challenges, I've done a few shows, and as we are currently in a touchy political climate, I have found my voice and haven't shut up. (Definitely not sorry about that. #BlackLivesMatter) </div>
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<b>Friends have come, and some friends I considered to be my closest are no longer in my circle.</b> I feel like our generation gets shoved out to a stormy sea in a flat bottomed boat with a bucket, a rain jacket and the wish of "good luck, and Godspeed!" and that's about it. We navigate life and relationships with very basic tools, the tides ebb and flow, and somehow, we manage to stay afloat. </div>
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<b>I turned 29.</b> I am far less panicky about 30 than I was when I was turning 28. I've considered lying about my age, but it catches up to you pretty quickly. I've avoided the existential crisis of "What have/haven't I accomplished that I said I wanted to do before I was 30?" Because times, and the culture, have changed. We (millennials) aren't getting married younger, we are waiting to have kids, or we've decided to skip that altogether. We want cats, dogs, careers, adventures...all things we could have while in a committed marriage relationship, but we've seen so many fail that we just give up. or decide to Try Less Hard. But that's a different topic too. </div>
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<b>In January</b> I went to New York to visit the Atlantic Acting School. Atlantic was founded by David Mamet and William H. Macy. As I walked through Chelsea, the cold air hitting my face, I felt nervous, but there was a familiar feeling in the air-anticipation of investing my time into my craft. Even just for a night. I walked into the building, got a security clearance and shared the elevator with a young actor who was headed up to Atlantic for a first read through. He asked if I was involved in the project, and I said no, that I was just visiting. He told me he loved Atlantic and hoped I would consider applying. The open house was amazing...we had an info session with the executive director who was also one of the founding members. We had an improv workshop which was far less scary than I had expected, and then we had an on-camera audition workshop. I wasn't that great, but that solidified my belief that I need on-camera training ASAP. As I talked to the admissions director while simultaneously shoving expensive New York cheese into my mouth, I realized how much that room felt like Home. Creativity, talent, promise, experience...pictures on the walls of TONS of actors we know and love that studied there. I talked to one of the girls on my way out, and told her I was torn. Do I uproot my comfortable life and my big girl job that provides me with health insurance that I need to survive and move to the city to follow my dream? She looked at me and said, "It sounds like you already know what you want to do." She smiled, said goodbye, and disappeared into the night. I cried as I passed the Chelsea Market, imagining coffee breaks with my new Atlantic family. Picturing our pre-showcase ritual knowing that agents would be in the audience to watch our hard work; thinking about our final project of forming a theatre company...exactly how Atlantic Acting School was born. "Yes. This is what I want. This is My Thing. This is My Dream."</div>
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It's been 8 months since that trip. and I haven't started the application. Fear is holding me back and I've acknowledged it. I'll do something about it...each time I think of that night my heart aches for that familiarity again. </div>
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But this isn't about that either! (But it kind of is because look at how much I loved it!) </div>
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<b>This is about transitions.</b> And being ok with sitting in them. Look around at where you are. If you're having a Good Life right now or an Ok Life, or a Sad Life, acknowledge it. Allow yourself to be vulnerable in that spot. it's hard....it's so so so difficult, and sometimes it hurts. And that's ok too! As cliche as this sounds, growth and progress and transitions happen in the Dark Times.</div>
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<b>How do you get through the Dark Times?</b></div>
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<b>1. Develop a plan.</b> Have friends that you trust keep you accountable. Strength in numbers!</div>
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2. <b>Have a healthy outlet for releasing the tension</b>. I had my first massage this summer and I went directly to therapy afterwards. The release of physical tension allowed my brain to be clearer and helped me to be more vulnerable that day to my therapist. </div>
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<b>3. Cut out the negative.</b> Surround yourself with likeminded people that you trust. </div>
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<b>4. Intentionally make time for things that make you happy.</b> Go out on a Friday. Stay in on Saturday. Brunch on Sunday. Doing chores, visiting friends, cooking. Whatever your "thing" is, schedule a time for you to do it. Your brain knows that you enjoy those things and it releases endorphins and those cheer you up. (I learned that from Legally Blonde. Thanks, Elle Woods/Reese Witherspoon)</div>
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<b>5. Love yourself for exactly who you are.</b> Tell yourself your Truths in the mirror. You are strong. You are beautiful/handsome. You are unique. Write them down. Repeat. </div>
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Some of these might be helpful. Some of them might not be helpful. These are very simply based on my experience the last year of my life. I want to share them with you, in hopes that I can get back to being authentic through my writing. </div>
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It's been a long year, y'all, but I have a lot of faith. There's a lot of work to be done, that I'll write about later, but I know we're gonna be alright. After all, we have each other. </div>
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Shine Bright. </div>
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-s. </div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-43569288807133093592016-09-23T11:42:00.000-04:002016-09-23T11:42:23.935-04:00To The People Back Home <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>For so many years I heard “you’re not really black.” “You’re the whitest black girl I know.” “You’re </b></span></span><b style="font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">such an Oreo-White on the inside, Black on the outside!” </b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I laughed and went along with it for so many years. Because I felt it was true. And not because I hated the color of my skin, but because I didn’t know to be offended. You all expected me to be a certain way. After all my parents were white so how would I know what “being black” really was? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being around you all shaped my own prejudices. For years, four years specifically, anytime a new black person came to our school I viewed them through YOUR lens. “Ghetto. Loud. Those earrings are so big, her clothes are too tight, doesn’t she know we don’t dress like that around here?” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s an image burned into my mind from Junior Year. It was the end of the day and everyone was heading to our lockers. Right in my pathway I saw a white guy and black girl screaming at each other. “SHUT UP YOU BITCH” he yelled. “GET OUT OF MY FACE.” She screamed back. “I’M GOING TO TEAR THOSE EARRINGS OUT OF YOUR EARS.” “GO AHEAD. DO IT.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I swiftly walked past them but my heart was pounding out of my chest. He was rude. But so was she, right? She should have walked away, I decided. I gathered my things and went to the bus. Something didn’t sit right. I didn’t know why, but I was bothered by it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Let’s back up.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I lived 5 minutes from school, but I always rode the bus. Bus 25. Blanche was our driver, and a family friend. It was 7th grade and I had taken the bus home after school, but this particular day I had lugged my tenor sax with me. I was sitting on the bus and I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it started. But suddenly the boy two seats ahead of me was yelling. I’m sure I said something...I wish I could remember what. I know I asked him to please leave me alone. And he yelled at me. I said “Please, leave me alone. I just want to go home.” More foggy memories...then suddenly: “Ugh. I hate niggers. This is why I should start carrying a rope and chain with me to school.” I started to cry and when I got off the bus, I screamed. My sister had picked me up on our moped and I threw my jacket against it and screamed and sobbed. It took her and my mom to calm me down to get the full story. My mom immediately called the superintendent. He was on our side of course, and said there was no room for racist behavior and death threats. The boy was suspended from the bus and also got in school suspension for a day. He also was told to apologize. I don’t remember that, but I remember being terrified to ride the bus again. Shortly thereafter he started to drive to school and I was so thankful. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Senior year,</b> two popular football players were sitting on the Senior Benches. I was walking from the office to class and suddenly I heard an all-too familiar, and very outdated tune.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> “Is he whistling Dixie at me?” I furrowed my brow and chuckled. They looked at me, I stared right back and thought “You idiots. My parents are WHITE. My dad takes care of your animals. You </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">know</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> me.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But they didn’t. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">None of you did. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You thought you did, because I was friendly, and nice, and outgoing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But you didn’t know the stories of how even I was treated by some of our classmates. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You didn’t know that I tried so hard to differentiate myself, and failed over and over again.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You didn’t know that when I called one of my friends a “cracker,” I didn’t know it was a negative term. But everyone who heard it was shocked, and one of you tattled. I felt awful. I almost cried in front of you. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I would never “be black.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I would never “be white.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I would always just be an Oreo. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thankfully, my sister finally cleared something up for me. “What do you mean ‘act black?’ A color doesn’t act a certain way. You mean act/talk ‘urban.’” It struck me like a bolt of lightning. “Oh my gosh, YES. That’s what I mean!” She rolled her eyes at me, like all big sisters do and we went about our business. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But now, I’ve changed. Yes I’m still adopted and my family is still white. Yes I still shop at Target, and Gap and American Eagle. I listen to country music, and pop, and I’m a sucker for acoustic covers (what I’m listening to as I’m writing this.). My boyfriends have all been white. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I went to a very white private college. I am constantly self-conscious about dancing in clubs. (Like..really, I’m black AND a theatre person so where’s my rhythm when I’m just having fun??)</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I struggled with singing a soulful slave tune in one of my dream shows this summer because in the back of my head I heard “You’re not really black. You’re not like Patina Miller, or Renee Elise Goldsberry, or Jasmine Ceaphas Jones UGH. You can’t do it. You’re not black enough.” And you know what? I freaking NAILED that song. I shut down the demons and I didn’t try to be like my favorite black actresses. I dug deep into my own darn soul and found Star and what she was going through, what so many minorities in our country are going through, and what our ancestors went through while trying to escape to freedom.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Escape. How do I escape? How do I escape your cop apologist posts? How do I escape you telling the world that you “don’t see color” because it’s not important? How do I escape you posting memes of “black people who listened to the police,” or “here’s a black celebrity going against the majority of his black peers,” or “here’s a successful black woman, be more quiet and unassuming like her.” It’s crap. It’s all crap, because you want these people to be flawless. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You want safe black people. Yet, you don’t want Michelle and Barack. I don’t know why, because they ARE successful, and I’m sure in the past they have been pulled over, and they do go against the majority of their black peers. I mean for heaven’s sake they’re the First Family, but God forbid you praise a black man becoming the Leader of the Free World. That’s too much, right? </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You want relatable black people. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You want me to keep wearing clothes brands that you think are appropriate for me. I shop where you shop, so I’m safe. I like Panera, and going to fancy restaurants and pubs, so I’m not like “those other black people.” I don’t “talk urban” so you aren’t threatened to start a conversation with me. I chemically straightened my hair for 15 years, so it’s not “nappy and unprofessional” like those girls with braids and Senegalese twists at your jobs. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, but I did just cut my hair, and really it has nothing to do with joining a movement, and it has everything to do with the fact that I look like a badass with short hair, but now you probably see me as unrelatable. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I danced for 3 hours in a club the other night with some friends, with other black and Latinxs, and white people, and mixed people and Natives, and this is probably never something you expected Star to do, so now she’s not safe. Not approachable, because she’s becoming too much like “those other black people.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I post things that should be common sense, especially if you consider yourself pro-life (which I know a lot of you do.) Yes all lives matter. But guess what- I can say “Black Lives Matter” and still know in my heart that all life matters. But not all lives are threatened right now. But the people with my color skin? Whether you consider them to be safe or not, their lives are threatened and they MATTER. And I will continue to say it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Someone recently asked me if a certain relationships are worth salvaging. I daily, hourly, minute-by-minute ask myself that as I’m scrolling through my newsfeed. Some of you are willing to dialogue, but the majority of you are not. Those relationships to me, are not worth my emotional energy. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And I don’t say that to offend you. That’s simply to show that as a black woman in America, I’m exhausted. I’m so tired. I can’t comment on every post, no matter how much I want to. Because I know 98% of you won’t answer back. You’ll say to yourself “Wow. She’s not the girl I remember from back home.” And you know, I’m not. I left. I grew. I gained more friends of all colors and cultures, and I LOVE it. I broadened my world and my circle, and I learned, sometimes painfully, how to dialogue with people who don’t look like me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all need to do this. If you truly want racism to disappear (which by the way it won’t), you need to leave your bubble. You need to travel, grow, gain more friends of all colors and cultures and broaden your world and your circle. Growth does not happen inside of your comfort zone, but I promise you the second you sit with someone you don’t feel is safe, you will grow and you will learn. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">You need to teach your kids that their brown friends’ lives are as important as theirs. Teach them that God made people with different skin colors and that diversity a beautiful thing, not a hindrance! Teach them about African American, and black, and Latinxs, and Native history. If we don’t learn from our past, it’s going to repeat itself, and it’s already happening. You keep posting that you want change. You keep posting that you want to pray for change. But the only way to actively see change at a small level is to talk to your black friends. Talk to your minority friends. Meet them for coffee, and ask them how they are, and what their thoughts are on the events of this summer. But more importantly: listen to their answers. Take notes. Ask them how you can bring change into your home, church, and community. Ask them to join you in being the change you so desperately want to see. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We, as minorities, need your help. We want to dialogue. But we can’t if you aren’t willing to talk. Stop shutting down. It’s clear you have opinions. But maybe set them aside to hear the opinions of others and then talk about them. </span></span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m still Starleisha. My family is still white. I live in a city now, and not my parent’s farm, and I still don’t talk “urban.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But I am no longer safe. I’m done being safe. I want change, and that’s dangerous, but I’m willing to go after it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Join me? </span></span></div>
Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-25751558413512105962016-04-27T13:00:00.000-04:002016-04-27T13:00:40.886-04:00To the Class of 2016, from Someone Who's Been There<b style="font-weight: normal;"></b><div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-d8948e63-5456-8c12-ba0b-e6936bab2b1a" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Your senior year is a time for celebrations. Your big class trip; your last musical; your last baseball game; your last orchestra concert; your last art show. Even though everyone is headed in different directions, you never look around at your friends and think “this is the last time I might see them,” because there is always Summer. Summer is for bonfires, riding around with the windows down, getting ice cream at Milky Way. </span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">You never think that your class will bond over something tragic as losing a classmate. But sometimes, and only God knows why, that brings you closer as a group. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Quite frankly, losing a classmate sucks. It’s inexplicable. It’s hard. It’s unfair. It’s sad. It’s all of those things plus a million more emotions you didn’t know you had. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">As someone who has Been There, here are a few quick things I wish someone would have told me about losing someone you love.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">First of all, I want you to know that everything you are feeling is valid. You are not being overemotional, or overdramatic. Allowing yourself the space to feel and grieve is okay. It’s necessary. It’s your body’s way of releasing stress and tension. Let it happen. If someone tells you that you are being overemotional or overdramatic, it’s ok to disagree with them. Only you can assess how and what you are feeling, and that’s ok. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Secondly, grief is strange, and everyone grieves differently. Some of you will cry, others will be silent. Some will be callous and say “I don’t care that much” because they are confused about what they’re feeling. Others of you will gather and tell stories and laugh at the silly things she said, or the way she used to joke, or remember how smart she was, and honor how beautiful she was inside and out. Again, let it happen, and don’t discount anyone’s form of grief. The beautiful thing about every one of you is that you feel and process things differently. And that’s okay. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Grow in your grief. Figure out how you, as the wonderful human you are, process these emotions. Talk to someone you love. Parents, friends’ parents, a counselor, a teacher, a coach, youth pastor, whoever. Your mental health is too precious to tackle this alone. Please talk to someone. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Lastly, it’s important to joyfully remember your friend. What happened was tragic, yes. But the life she led was anything but that. Get together and celebrate who she is, and the fact that you know she is healed and whole and with the God she loved so much. Joy is also strange. It’s strange to feel so incredibly sad yet so incredibly joyful at the same time. I think of the movie “Inside Out.” Riley’s emotions and memories finally work together to form her different Personality Islands. Sadness and Joy pressing the button together is the perfect example of allowing our emotions to blend together, but not control us. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It’s hard, but as one of my favorite writers says “Together We Can Do Hard Things.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Spend time together. Spend more time together than you ever thought was humanly possible. Be amazed at how you support each other, and take pride in how your community has come together during this time. Remember that even though you’re in a small town, each person has shown that they have a big heart. Don’t take that, or anyone you encounter, for granted. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And always remember: Love Wins. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">-S. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="6925269862_4fe4f78984_z.jpg" height="413" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Vf-UeeymvUyHhAFGeO3BnOjIL4_iZKe2TgMd8-B6oNZHosYwrW2kh3abGXCwAVGcbPSXxoBSkwsxAVhIJ8_cWlKZKi3KYeXk7tm4HVdcP9q9mh0ni-uu2nCKjiqR64yes1pKDNy1" style="-webkit-transform: rotate(0.00rad); border-image: none; border: currentColor; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="624" /></span></div>
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(Flckr: <a class="owner-name truncate" data-rapid_p="102" data-track="attributionNameClick" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/slgc/" title="Go to slgckgc's photostream">slgckgc</a><a class="owner-name-with-by truncate" data-rapid_p="103" data-track="attributionNameClick" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/slgc/" title="Go to slgckgc's photostream">By: slgckgc</a> ) <br />
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</b><br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-47399393061088232552015-10-19T17:14:00.000-04:002015-10-19T17:37:02.177-04:00Ideally...This morning I had coffee and colorful conversation with my dear friend Lizz. <a href="http://www.everydayalivety.com/" target="_blank">She's a writer</a>, and has recently become a Kindred Spirit to me. As we were discussing our lives and our various quirks she presented me with a fairly normal question. "Star...if your life could be anything right now, what would it be, ideally?" I paused, opened my mouth, and then paused again, Lizz anxiously awaiting my answer. My head was immediately flooded with all of the things I've wanted to do. <em>Oh, easy. I'd move to New York. Oh wait...no, I'd have a boyfriend. No...wait...I'd...uh... </em>"Oh my gosh, I have NO idea!" was my super deep response. Lizz laughed and said "EXACTLY. Because no one knows what our lives would be like if we could <em>ideally</em> do anything." <br />
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Her statement sparked my brain, but I found it incredibly frustrating all at the same time.<br />
I was instantly plagued by the thought that I'm not doing "enough" with my twenties. What <em>am</em> I doing? <br />
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Is working a full-time job in my field, chugging 3 cups of coffee a day, and not acting part-time really what I would <em>ideally </em>like to be doing? <br />
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No, it's not. But it's where I am right now, and there's so much to be grateful for. <br />
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The more I think about it, the less I stray from the idea of having an "ideal" life; I inadvertently begin to seek what my life would be if it were "perfect." I'd be acting (for money! what a concept...), I'd have a Godly, sexy boyfriend who supports my love for theatre and whom I support wholeheartedly (he's owns a start-up and serves in our church, by the way), I'd have a steady income from my day job, and we would have a kitten named Sasquatch. <br />
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But God didn't design our lives to be "perfect." If we were meant to lead perfect, spotless lives, then God's grace and Jesus dying on the cross for our messy, messed-up, silly sins is pointless. I'm inclined to think that we aren't even to strive for "ideal" lives either. Ideally, I wouldn't struggle with perfectionism to the point of being sick to my stomach...ideally, I wouldn't sass my mother after we both have had long, taxing days. <em>Ideally...ideally.</em> <br />
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<strong>Friends, we're all sinners. We mess up. But there is enough grace for us to receive over and over again.</strong> </div>
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I think having endless grace is the closest we will ever get to having anything "ideal" in life. </div>
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And for right now, I'm ok with that. </div>
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(Photo Credit: <a href="http://www.laurenaltheahphotography.com/home.html" target="_blank">Lauren Altheah Adkins- Lauren Altheah Photography</a>) </div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-32159641261223751452015-09-26T12:45:00.000-04:002015-09-26T15:31:10.164-04:00Dear Christians: We Need To Talk About Broken EngagementsBy now, I think everyone knows my entire life story. Usually upon meeting someone new, I don't bother to use a "don't spill your guts!" filter. "Hi I'm Starleisha! I'm adopted, my family is white, I have two cats, Tater-Tot and Cricket, a beagle named Sweetie and until the end of this past January, I was engaged!" <br>
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At this point, if the poor person's eyes haven't already glazed over, I can usually predict their next facial expression. It's a shifting mix of shock and compassion and concern. For the first few months after my relationship was over, the most common response was, "Wow! You are so brave." "That was such a brave decision." "I could never be that brave!" It finally got to the point where I turned to a friend and said "I swear if someone says brave one more time, I'm going to punch them in the face!" <br>
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To me, my decision wasn't brave. It was simply a necessary decision; for our collective and individual preservation. In a sense, it was as if you gave the keys of a car to a stunt man and said, "Okay, Rod. Two options: no protective gear, or all the protective gear we have. But either way we are going to light the car on fire. What'll it be?!" If Rod is thinking clearly, he'll at least take some of the gear so when he has to bail out, some of his bones stay intact. <br>
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For the sake of this analogy, I am Rod. My engagement was the car. My impending marriage was the inevitable fire; wearing no gear was walking down an aisle towards divorce lawyers and a year of tears and hurt, and taking all the gear and bailing was breaking the engagement.<br>
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<strong> No one faces fire without doing something to keep themselves and the ones they love from getting burned.</strong><br>
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Right now you might be thinking "Okay, but how did you know?" "What if it was the wrong choice?" "What if D was the right guy for you and you were his perfect match and you RUINED EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF FOREVER?!" <br>
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I'll tell you, honestly, the answers to those questions. <br>
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<strong>1- How Did You Know?</strong> How do you know that you don't like jalapeños? I'm assuming that at some point you tried them accidentally (or on purpose, you psycho. why would you do that?!), and you didn't like them. They burned. They hurt. They weren't pleasant at all. You learn what you like and dislike, tolerate and hate, love and loathe through the same process: personal experience. I'm not saying that you should go accepting proposals willy-nilly, but what I am saying is that being engaged is recommended before marriage <em>for a reason.</em><br>
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<span class="im"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">All of a sudden, two people who think they know each other have to agree on how one single day, The First Day Of The Rest Of Their Lives, should look like, sound like and taste like. No one tells you this, but planning a wedding is hell. I know people who have done it and escaped seemingly unscathed, but they will eventually come clean and tell you that there were fights <i>over napkins.</i> Literal pieces of cloth almost ended a lifetime commitment. That's terrifying. No one wants to be known as the couple who couldn't agree on napkins. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But that's what happened. Things weren't falling into place. We couldn't find a venue. We couldn't agree on a time of year. There was a lot of "number crunching" and ice cream eating to avoid the bigger issues. The issues that, as we sat on our counselor's couch that July afternoon, I could feel, she could see, and D was avoiding.</span></div>
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</span>I didn't think I was strong enough. I didn't have closure from a previous non-relationship. I didn't this, I didn't that, all while on the inside I was screaming that I COULDN'T. But the months went on and these fears were shoved deeper because "we are planning a wedding, we can't just stop!" <br>
But I knew. We both knew, because the experiences we were having were hurting us. Burning. Not pleasant at all. Just as we thought it was all falling apart, it got better. We found a kick-ass venue, we began to communicate better, he got a job, I got a job, and then the single spark that would eventually illuminate the bigger problem, caught flame. <br>
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<strong>2-What If It Was The Wrong Choice?</strong> You know that stupid saying "if you love someone, let them go."? I'm here to tell you that while I think it's the most cliché thing anyone could say during this situation, it's also one of the more welcomed and "reassuring" things people can say. <br>
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I grew up in the age of purity rings, and "save yourselves until marriage," and "pass this chewed gum around and that's what you are if you don't save your self/love/heart for one person," I've recently realized that there was one big part that was left out of these teachings. And that part is, "What To Do When You Obey God's Will And Things Go Wrong." <br>
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<span class="im"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Because <i>of course</i> all Christian couples go through hard times, but if you marry someone who has lived by the Red Letters and has never even THOUGHT about glancing at porn, nothing will go wrong. I'm here to say HAHA BULL. It's utter crap, you guys. We are ALL sinners. I don't care how devoted you are to the Lord. You're still going to screw up.</span></span></div>
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And the well-meaning, possibly unknowingly manipulative, adults who taught you that "married sex will be perfect sex" might say "well, maybe you weren't trusting God enough. Maybe he had a 'rough past.'" (Which we all know is Christianese for "he had sex <em>once</em>.") And that will make you feel ashamed. It will make you want to hide under your covers on Sundays and attend Church of the Box Spring. <br>
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But what these adults are missing in their youth group lessons is the fact that shame is not from God. This summer I heard exactly what I needed to hear on this subject: "Guilt says 'I did a bad thing.' Shame says 'I am a bad thing.'" If you've ended a long-term engagement with a mixture of turmoil and shame, listen: <br>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><strong>You did the right thing. You are not a bad thing.</strong> <br>
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<span class="im"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You have not wasted yourself or your heart or your love. You are not a chewed up and spit out piece of gum. You are God's masterpiece. Whether you believe this or not doesn't make it any less true. In fact, I'm inclined to say that those of us who have loved so deeply with our whole hearts, and haven't been afraid to be vulnerable are probably the most beautiful. Usually we are artists, and we are mishmashed anyway, so what's a broken engagement? It's just another part of the mosaic of events that make us who we are. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">*Don't read me wrong here, friends--I do think that God blesses obedience/hard work/etc..., but I don't think that just because someone couldn't stay engaged or married it means God is punishing them for past or present inequities. Sometimes staying together isn't the right or obedient thing to do. Sometimes God is more subtle than we expect him to be. It's more proof that He can't be put in a box. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I think many of us, myself included, want God to be bigger and louder in our lives. But sometimes it's the tugs in the corners of our heart, the Still Small Voice, that we should be paying attention to more and expecting more readily. </span></div>
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<strong><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">3-</span>What if D was the right guy for you and you were his perfect match and you RUINED EVERYTHING FOR THE REST OF FOREVER?!</strong> He wasn't. I wasn't. I didn't. But occasionally, almost 8 months to the day later, I still ask myself these questions. Some people might read that and think "Well she obeyed God so she should just let it go. The past is in the past!" To that I say: YOU ARE NOT QUEEN ELSA STOP IT. And, just because I think these things doesn't mean I'm not trusting God. </div>
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And that brings me to the heart of this post. (You thought I forgot!)</div>
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<strong>As Christians, we need to stop trying to fit our expectations of marriage and couples into a box.</strong> </div>
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I will say this until I'm on my deathbed: <strong>No one is perfect. We are humans.</strong> </div>
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After I accidentally found out about The Ring, but before we even began planning our glorified Fancy Party, I was researching videographers. I stumbled across a video of a Picture Perfect Christian Couple. I recognized this PPCC because I had seen their wedding in The Knot magazine. I fell in love with the venue that was close to where we lived, the cute groom's sweater and the beautiful bride's furs that she and her maids were wrapped in. It was late and I was supposed to be studying, but I HAD TO click their video. I wept like I had never wept before. Perfect music, snow, candles! THE FURS YOU GUYS. But what got me were The Vows. They promised to lead one another in Christ, to submit to each other in Christ, to be an example, to love, protect, serve, pray for, and honor each other purely... No joke, I cried for an hour, and watched the video eight times. After doing some creepy Facebook stalking, I found the bride's business website and sent her a long email detailing every.thing.I.felt about their Vows. I never heard back and was crushed, but showed the video to my sister who cried with me, sent it to all my friends, and to D, who promptly said "oh I know her." It was the typical small town Pennsylvania response. I huffed and told him that I wanted our wedding to be exactly like that PPCC's wedding. </div>
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It wasn't until after The Ring and after I met people who were at that wedding (one person, who I now know and love dearly said to me "it wasn't that special...."), that I realized that I was idolizing their wedding. Intrigued, I dug deeper and realized what it really was: I idolized their relationship with each other and their relationship in relation to God. </div>
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These perfect strangers had become my gods for how I wanted D and I to feel about God. But we weren't there. Because we weren't right for each other and because the whole thing was wrong. We didn't rely on the Still Small Voice for anything in our lives. I was waiting for the Winds and the Fire and for some Disaster to force one of us to end it. </div>
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Sometimes the Still Small Voice comes in the form of your Mom. Sometimes the Fire is in the form of SisterDear who you fought with relentlessly which ended in a panic attack and regrettable words and slamming doors. Sometimes the Winds are your best friends...your Council who have held their tongues until they've bled and they are forced to finally break their silence with love and honest words. Sometimes the Disaster is finally taking the ring off before you end things, and praying you don't see anyone you know so you can avoid answering the dreaded question that comes after the Left Hand Wedding Band Glance: "Is everything okay with you and D?"</div>
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Sometimes it's laying in each other's arms in moments of vulnerability and sacredness and exhaustion and knowing in your heart of hearts that this isn't Forever. It's just Right Now. And that's what I think we Christians don't talk about. That sometimes Right Now is okay. It might not be in God's long-term plans for our lives, but this is the path He has led us on, and sometimes Right Now is all you have to remind you that God is in control. Sometimes Right Now ends and becomes Not Anymore. And that's okay too. </div>
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God has gone before you, into every place you will step foot as an engaged person, a married person, a divorced person, a single person, a mother, father, sister, brother, etc...he blesses your obedience but in order to be obedient you have to let go of the shame that we as Christians, for whatever reason, carry around surrounding the issues of broken engagements or long-term relationships, and truly listen to and feel and acknowledge the areas of your life where God is asking for your obedience. </div>
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<strong>It's hard, but it's good.</strong></div>
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It's hard to talk about, but it's good to talk about. You wouldn't believe the amount of women I've run into over the last 8 months who have said "I was engaged too. I understand what you're going through. It's hard, but it's good." It makes me wonder how many people we miss in our daily encounters who, no matter the event, can lend a truly empathetic ear.</div>
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What if we gently normalize broken relationships? What if we say, "Sometimes life doesn't go as planned. Sometimes you think you're following God's plan but he gently leads you down another path, and that's okay. It's hard but it's good." How many of us would find a companion to walk through the storms with us, if we were willing to just be okay talking about this openly? </div>
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Truthfully, I've found that sometimes not having a filter pays off. Sometimes all we need is a little too much information to make a solid connection. I'm open, and I'm asking you to be open to the idea of telling your story as well. Don't worry about it being messy. It's important and beautiful. Let's share them with each other, together. </div>
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<br><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0e1uALyzSS8LzD9zzlpLNKEdS6viwmKYhN6dlBHdOlW686EIAMw4cv7LzLXQKEkkitgi5S3w2PTP6nAVda6hoXk0dfN_76XiBcpSEzOs_meIOmWoUto3zTtdTyYbhzsKVkSXpSJOY9xW/s640/blogger-image--1334365833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0e1uALyzSS8LzD9zzlpLNKEdS6viwmKYhN6dlBHdOlW686EIAMw4cv7LzLXQKEkkitgi5S3w2PTP6nAVda6hoXk0dfN_76XiBcpSEzOs_meIOmWoUto3zTtdTyYbhzsKVkSXpSJOY9xW/s640/blogger-image--1334365833.jpg"></span></a><br>
<br>Photo Credit: Svatia Michelle Photography<br>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-24988539627684499592015-09-15T11:51:00.000-04:002015-09-15T11:51:12.320-04:00Welcome Back! [Welcome to My Life in Lancaster!] <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><i>Welcome back everyone! I've reinstated my blog now that I have found a full time job. Today I'm writing about transitions, and My Life in Lancaster. (That sounds like a great book title...) This one is a little long, but I have months of life to catch you up on, with a good resolution at the end. Join me, and stick with me during this new chapter! Love you all! </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><i>-S. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Transitions are hard. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-1560709a-d16e-2d5d-973c-2fbae4878743" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Whether you’re starting the next level of your schooling, a new career, or a new chapter of your life, it’s hard to deny--change is tough. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have always had an immense amount of pride in my ability to handle change. My top StrengthsFinder is Adaptability...I go with the flow, and whisper that first part of the Serenity Prayer. You know, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…” If I were brave enough, I’d tattoo it on the back of my hand as a constant reminder.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But recently I’ve come to realize that “change” and “a time of transition” aren’t always the same thing. We often use them interchangeably, and this of course varies for everyone…my definition of “change” is something that happens unexpectedly and throws off my routine or balance. And my definition of “a time of transition” is something that has been anticipated. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This new chapter that I’ve started is undeniably a life change, but it’s more of a transition. I have been anticipating moving to Lancaster for 5 years. It was the summer of 2010 when I made my first long-term visit. I stayed for a week with Liesl and we had our inaugural year of kids theatre camp. I met so many people who have influenced the woman I am now and I will never forget that. Each year since then, I’ve made the trek back and forth for various reasons, and about 6 months before I got engaged I knew that I had to spend my engagement in the city of Lancaster.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That didn’t happen. Instead I had to deal with change. He moved, I stayed. I was plagued by crippling panic attacks for weeks after he left. I shoved the idea of moving to Lancaster out of my head and tried to tread water for as long as I could. 6 months later, our engagement ended, and a friend who knows absolutely everything about me looked at me and said, “you should move in with me. It could just be the change that you need.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I said a bold "yes." Forgetting that my bank account had barely enough money for a shopping spree let alone rent and a security deposit. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In June, we found a place. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In August, I moved in. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And here we are, September 15, 2015. I've been here exactly one month, and I have not stopped to breathe. And I don't regret it at all! I'm doing audience services for PRiMA Theatre, which was the best leap of faith I could have taken. I've transitioned from working part time in a theatre (Shout out to my State Theatre family! I miss you guys!) to working full time in a boutique as a stylist (getting paid to suggest clothes to people? Absofreakinglutely up my alley.) And this time next week, I will have started training at my new full-time job at the American Music Theatre as a box office associate! A job in my field that I LOVE and that I'm darn good at too! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>But sometimes being busy is an excuse to not focus on the hard parts of transitioning. </b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the last two months, I've had my heart broken, I've had to wrestle with issues of race in the outside world and where/if I fit into those hard conversations, I've been misjudged, argued with, and have argued with myself about my own intentions, </span><span style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">convictions</span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and integrity. All of these things are hard to deal with. And then add moving on top of them! I was a mess! I still am. <b>And that's okay. </b> </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Admitting that you're a mess (yes, YOU), is the first step to recognizing where you are in life. My roommate has this little window decoration that says "Your </span><span style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">beautifully</span><span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"> messy complicated story matters. (tell it.)" and I'm pretty sure that's become our motto over the last few years. It's ok to feel lost. It's ok to not know what's coming up even if you have it seemingly altogether. Even though I might seem "set" career wise for now, I'm anticipating more changes and transitions coming up. Because that's the way life works. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>You can't avoid change, you can only react to it the healthiest way you can. </b>Maybe for you that means having someone "on call" who you can vent to--a friend, mentor, or therapist. Maybe that means a visit home to see your mom and have her make you a good home-cooked meal. Maybe that means going on a dating hiatus and figuring out yourself. Maybe (UGH) it means deactivating Facebook and digging into the Bible or a good book study. Maybe it means getting a dog or a cat! </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Figuring out what you need to do to keep yourself intact is the only way to survive transitions. Everyone copes differently, but I'm confident that you cannot and should not do it alone. I have my Council of women who I can go to whenever life gets scary. And as weird as it might seem, I'm finally seeing that my mom is one of them. Your mom is less intimidating once you get into your 20s. Trust me.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Having people who know you and that you trust is essential, and super helpful. I'm thankful for all those people in my life; without them I would have drowned in an ocean of uncertainty. </span><span style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone's story is different, and that's what keeps the world so beautiful. </span><span style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">We connect over the mess, over someone saying "you too?? I thought it was just me!" Be vulnerable. Surround yourself with like-minded people. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, all that to say: change is hard. But it's inevitable. Deal with it the best way <i>you </i>know how.<b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>If nothing else I've written sticks, remember this: </b></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Your story, changes and transitions are important. They're messy, but that's ok. So are everyone else's. They</b></span><b style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> matter, but more importantly, you matter.</b></div>
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<span style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hold on, everyone. We are all in for one heck of a ride! </span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 22.08px; white-space: pre-wrap;">-S. </b></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-61897647254536092602015-03-02T10:02:00.001-05:002015-03-02T10:02:12.684-05:00A Quick Update<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Happy Monday, everyone! </b></div>
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I'm wiped OUT from this weekend's XStream youth winter retreat. We had a great time at Pocono Plateau with two other local churches. The snow was gorgeous, the food was good, and a lot of great connections were made. Unfortunately around 5 AM Sunday, a nasty stomach bug befell one of the guy students. His fearless leader, who had been taking care of him, sent out a group text around 5 PM saying he had contracted it as well. Please say a prayer for David and Colin, and the rest of our team and students as a lot of us are sliding into midterms and can't really afford to get sick! </div>
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While I'd love to take this time to talk about how amazing the weekend was, this post isn't about XStream. It is however, about my relationship with Lando.</div>
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In December, Lando and I decided that it was best that we postpone the wedding. I don't really remember a clear reason why, other than the obvious fact that something was "off." Several weeks and insane arguments later, I knew that something had to change. After seeking wise counsel, and a few awkward encounters, I decided it was time to end our relationship. It truly wasn't a mutual decision, even though we have both painted it that way out of respect for what happened. We have decided to focus on other separate life opportunities <i>(note: There are several things I want to do that would have kept us apart for our first year of marriage, and no one wants to do that...)</i>, and focus on strengthening our relationships with God. We are trying this whole "let's be friends" thing, and we most definitely appreciate the support from our family and friends. </div>
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Yes, it's hard, and it sucks, and it has probably shocked the pants off of you, but honestly, God has already blessed this decision. He's gone before us and we have willingly followed his path. It doesn't completely make sense yet, but it will. </div>
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We are both willing to talk about this, so please don't shy away because you're afraid of saying something "wrong." We are still Star and Lando, even though we aren't StarAndLando anymore. It'll be good. It's already good. We are resting in the truth that we have an entire lifetime ahead of us, even if it's not a lifetime we share as husband and wife. </div>
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We love you all, and look forward to having you continue this journey with us in this new way. </div>
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Peace and Blessings</div>
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-S. </div>
Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-17202382845823458232015-02-04T18:07:00.001-05:002015-02-05T10:32:36.073-05:00XStream Talking Points/Blog Post: Lies I Believed In High SchoolWe're doing a dating series in XStream right now. And for those of you who have been keeping up with my life, you probably know that this is a strange topic for me right now. (For those of you who don't know, I'll be happy to talk about it privately over coffee, or via carrier pigeon.) This is the last week of our series, and we are splitting the guys and girls up for the Group Talk. The girls are going to be talking about body image/identifying our worth in Christ/confidence etc...and the boys will be talking about the lies of pornography. It's going to be a heavy night, but I'm praying it will be worth it. (I know it will be!) <br />
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<b>I'm sharing tonight on the lie that I still have a tendency to give into: the lie that I'm "too much" or "too intimidating" or "too loud." </b>When I was in middle school, I was the girl screaming at the lunch table over nothing. I talked loudly because I liked the attention. But sometimes it felt like I was losing the attention I desired because I was loud. My mom always <strike>told</strike> tells me that my voice carries. I'm just a loud talker. And it wasn't until I was in college that I realized that being a loud talker/being a great projector, isn't going to make or break my life. In fact, projecting well, as an actress, is actually one of the best things for your career. <br />
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In high school, I was always told, "be mysterious. Boys like girls with a little mystery." Even now as a 26 year old, I'm furrowing my brow at that. What the heck does that mean? I guess now it means "Don't lay out all of your personal baggage on the first date." But what does it mean to a 15 year old? To me, it translates to "Don't be too loud. Don't burp like one of the guys. Don't talk loudly about sports if you don't really know what you're saying."<i> (Side note: last week at XStream, Juliandra and I asked the girls to write down what they thought they could do to become more "datable." 98% of them said "learn more about sports.")</i><br />
<i> </i>Anyway, I don't in anyway intend to downplay this bit of advice from my mother, but I wish I had known to ask for clarification. I would try to "be mysterious" around the boys I had crushes on...talking quieter, not really answering their questions, etc..., but that's not who I am. I'm outgoing, and vibrant, and when I think "mystery," when it comes to a character trait, I picture some girl hiding behind a thick Mark Twain (J.K. Rowling? Who is popular these days...?) novel, and wearing long skirts, and avoiding eye contact with all humans. And that's not a bad thing if that is your true personality! But I think for a long time, I tried to be something I wasn't when it came to having "mystery." I'm not the type of girl who has the time to have people hem and haw over what I like, or what I might be interested in doing on a Friday night. If you want to hang, if you want to get to know me, let's communicate about that. I will say, "Hey, my name is Star and I'm un-apologetically outgoing and I will tell you everything you need to know about being my casual acquaintance, or friend." I understand and respect that not everyone is wired like that (97% of my friends are introverts), BUT, I am truly of the belief that if you aren't being true to your personality, you are not living up to the person God created you to be. So if "being mysterious" is something you're good at, rock it! If being outgoing is something you're good at, rock it!<br />
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<b>Either way: </b></div>
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<b>Never let anyone tell you you're too "this" or too "that" </b></div>
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<b>as if it makes or breaks your entire life. </b></div>
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<b>It doesn't define you now, or ever. </b></div>
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The lie that we are too much comes from a place of insecurity. But it doesn't need to be a hindrance when we realize that we are made in the Image of God and and grasp onto the idea that our identity is found in Christ only. No exceptions. </div>
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You might ask what this means or what this looks like and, honestly, I don't know if I have an answer other than this that fits every single person: "Women must think rightly about being representatives of God made in His image, and fulfilling his purposes" (Matt Chandler, <i>Beautiful Design</i>). Each one of us is made with a purpose that is more than being the prettiest girl in the room, or the most talented, or the most mysterious, or outgoing. What matters is that we are here to do God's work...to live the life he has set before us. Younger girls might not realize it now, but each one of us is called to a higher purpose..whether that's going into ministry, being an actress, or being a professional athlete- God will use us to His glory. </div>
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<b>Who you were created to be is already accepted by God. Don't worry about being accepted by others. Who you are in Christ is "enough." You are never too over-exuberant, or too mysterious. </b></div>
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<b>You are enough. Don't let anyone try to convince you that you need to change that. </b></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-62089023485073977782014-11-20T16:38:00.001-05:002014-11-20T16:38:51.077-05:0014 Things Only Box Office Employees Understand (And things we wish we could nicely tell our patrons) <div style="text-align: left;">
<b><i>I love my job, I really do. The people I work with are great, I feel so privileged to come to a theatre everyday and have it be my job. But some days I seriously wonder if people know what my job is really like. It's not *just* selling tickets to events. It's so much more. </i></b></div>
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<b>1. Just because you, our beloved patron, didn't see a ticket price listed (which is more than likely your error), does not mean the ticket is free. </b><br />
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<b>2. Oh look, my ticketing system is freezing as I have 6 people standing in line.</b><br />
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<b>3. I'm sorry it's really really reeeally not my fault that you got mixed information and are asking me too many questions that I can answer in just a few sentences. </b><br />
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<b>4. The phrase "We rent to anyone who needs a place to screen their film" means just that. </b></div>
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<b>No we do not have a political agenda for showing two sides to the same story.</b></div>
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<b>No we do not have a political agenda for showing a film about fracking. </b></div>
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<b>No it's not our fault that your event isn't selling well. I'm seriously JUST the box office girl. </b></div>
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<b>(What I'm saying here is...please don't shoot the messenger. )</b><br />
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<b>5. No we cannot make special deals with you if they aren't already in the system.</b><br />
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<b>6. It is not our fault that tickets aren't available if you wait until the week before the show.</b><br />
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<b>7. And no, I can't "open any seats up" for you. You snooze, you lose.</b><br />
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<b>8. Creeping into the caterer's kitchen to heat up your lunch. While there's a meeting going on. </b><br />
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<b>9. Being genuinely sweet to verklempt older patrons. (The phrase "Kill them with kindness" comes to mind. And then praying they don't actually fall over dead.) </b><br />
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<b>10. When the person on the phone is looking at the seating chart and tells you what they're seeing. And it's the exact same chart you're also looking at. </b><br />
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<b>11. Patron, (After seeing you as the only person at the counter): "I'm looking for someone who's in charge..." </b><br />
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<b>12. When you actually don't have the answer to their question and you have to find someone in charge. </b><br />
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<b>13. When people come in, talk, and don't actually order tickets. </b><br />
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<b>14. Remembering that things could be worse. Your day job is in your field, and thank goodness you're not folding tee shirts at a department store. </b></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-90203715341222484852014-10-24T18:17:00.001-04:002014-10-24T18:17:14.901-04:00Desiring "More" <i>Hello. This is a request. A time for reflection, a self-call-to-arms and a time that I'm calling out YOU. Yes, you, my beautiful friend</i>. <i>This is about desire. But not the type that you think... it's something more deeply ingrained in our hearts. </i><br />
<i> </i><br />The last few months of my life have easily been the hardest I have ever faced (and weathered!) Lando moved, and suddenly I found myself engaged but totally "single." There have been more life trails than I care to share about, and through all of this I've been left with a need for "more." I put "more" in quotes because some days I know what that looks like and then my plans change, and other days I don't know what it is at all. I'm scattered and unfocused and want to get my life/life goals on track but have no hard examples of what that looks like. Sure it's easy to sit in my therapists office saying "I need an accountability partner," when I really wanted to <strike>say </strike>scream "I need someone to SHOW me how to do this!" <br />
<br />Then a few days ago, I remembered about The Desire Map. I'm not sure how to describe it, so I'll take an excerpt from the site: <br />
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"You want it and you want it bad. Aspiring. Hoping. Plotting. Recurring. Reaching. Bubbling beneath your surface. You crave it — and it craves you. </blockquote>
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So you make a plan to get it. A to-do list. The bucket list. Quarterly objectives. Strategy. Accountability. The goal. Except . . . </blockquote>
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You’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re actually chasing a feeling.<br />
We have the procedures of achievement upside down. We go after the stuff we want to have, get, accomplish, and experience outside of ourselves. And we hope, yearn, pray that we’ll be fulfilled when we get there. It’s backwards. It’s outside in. And it’s running us in circles. </blockquote>
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What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life, and then we laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays — your life? </blockquote>
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You know what will happen with that kind of inner clarity and outer action? You’ll feel the way you want to feel more often than not. Decisions will be easier to make: You’ll know what to say no, thank you to and what to say hell yes! to. I bet you’ll complain less. You’ll be more optimistic, more open-hearted. It will be easier for you to return to your center in the midst of a challenge — I promise.<br /><br />You will do much less proving, and way more living.<br /><br />And you will have more to give to the world.<br /><br />For starters."</blockquote>
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The author is <a href="http://www.daniellelaporte.com/about/" target="_blank">Danielle LaPorte</a>, and from what I've gathered, she holds nothing back, and isn't afraid to be blunt. (I guess those are kind of the same thing?) All across social media, she delivers daily <a href="http://www.daniellelaporte.com/truthbomb/" target="_blank">#TruthBombs</a> including this gem: "Turn you longing into a calling." And about a million more that I can't choose from/directly share.<br />
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I digress...I'm hoping to start going through the book, "The Desire Map." There's an app that Danielle LaPorte has released called Conversation Starters, and it's for a group to be able to go through the book with a good basis of structure. I love the idea of small groups, but for whatever reason, I can't seem to get stuck to one. I don't know if I'm lazy, scared of vulnerability, or find ways to convince myself that I have very little in common with the other members. (I think with the two small groups I've been a part of recently, all three of those are true, ESPECIALLY the last one.)<br />
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I love the idea of going through "The Desire Map" with women who are close to my age/life situation and are willing to be vulnerable and honest. I think many times, as Christian women specifically, we are too scared to let our souls show. Among my 20-something friends, I am seeing more heartfelt yearnings...the yearn to travel; love bigger than ever; be more compassionate; learn more about ourselves and how God created us to help others. "The Desire Map" shows us just how to do all of those things, and stay focused and sane throughout the journey. <br />
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<b><i>So, who wants in?</i></b></div>
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<a href="http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/bookclub/" target="_blank">The website suggests book clubs</a> as a way to get started. Using the Conversation Starters app, the workbook, Danielle's free audio files and/or just the book. Meetings at a home, via Google Hangout (Or Skype, whatever), Barnes & Noble, anywhere! The book is $22.00, the workbook comes in packs of</div>
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3 @ $30.00 (or $12.00/book), and the journal is $12.50. I'm not sure about group discounts, but I'm hoping to get more information about that! </div>
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I feel pretty strongly that "The Desire Map" is what will help us all get what we want. </div>
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Oh, and, if you're into Celebrity Testimonials, Shailene Woodley says: "She reps the sisterhood thing and women’s empowerment… The Desire Map
[is] basically charting the things that you want in life, and not just
sitting back and saying, “I’m going to manifest this…here’s how,” but
actively doing something to manifest your dream." So yeah. there's that.</div>
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Ps: Remember Lauren Dubinsky? Founder of The Good Women Project? Yeah, she's how I first found out about "The Desire Map." So really, that <a href="http://www.laurendubinsky.com/desire/" target="_blank">recommendation is worth the perusal. </a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Join me?</i></span></div>
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(From daniellelaporte.com) </div>
<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-44294348229454535472014-09-07T18:14:00.003-04:002014-09-07T18:14:28.955-04:00Year 25: Back to School Edition-Dear Megan. This is a little something I wanted to share with one of my former students who will be attending Messiah College (the college I attended) this fall! Here are a few things I think she should know about Messiah.<br />
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<b>1.</b> <b>Climenhaga is haunted. </b>Seriously. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Mostly this would only affect (effect? Both, I guess...) you if you're in Miller Theatre. I've never encountered either of the ghosts, but I have friends who have. They are friendly ghosts, but they're still ghosts. Nothing to be afraid of...just be aware!<br />
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<b>2. Shoes are optional. </b>You'll be making the trek to the High Center everyday for the next 4 years. Proper footwear is a must. If you have to wear heels to performance class or anything that involves going down the Climenhaga Hill, carry them. That thing is a beast! (I lost the back to my cell phone there one year. Never found it.) I have walked that hill many times in bare feet to make the journey a little easier. Remember, this is college, not high school. No one will judge you for not wearing shoes outside.<br />
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<b>3. Lottie. </b>Here are just a few things...You can have ice cream WHENEVER YOU WANT. You can make a root beer float WHENEVER YOU WANT. You can eat a bagel WHENEVER YOU WANT. You can have cereal WHENEVER YOU WANT. You can eat a salad WHENEVER YOU WANT. AND THERE'S A FRUIT BAR. (I had to include something healthy because I assume your mom will read this....) Take friends and check it out. Seriously so many options. Also check out the Union (the chicken fingers are amazing, and the veggie burgers are legit), and also the Falcon (the white pizza at the Falcon is seriously so so so good!)<br />
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<b>4. Baker's Diner.</b> Bakers is just up the road in Dillsburg. Your task is to find someone with a car (Maybe suggest going as a peer group or floor activity!), and go get some delicious diner food. Their hot chocolate comes with whipped cream and sprinkles. I can't find the picture right now, but when I do I'll make sure to tag you so you can see it. It's a good place for off-campus studying too. Take some theory friends and get away from the busyness of the Bubble. It'll be good for your soul.<br />
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<b>5. Participate in your floor activities.</b> I am still in touch with a few girls from my freshman floor. We would go to dinner together, see movies in Parmer (SEE THE MOVIES IN PARMER. THEY ARE AWESOME.), have movie nights in our dorm, etc... These girls are your essential your sisters for the year. And it's ok to not get along with everyone or be BFFs with everybody. But finding a few close friends besides your roommate is always good.<br />
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<b>6. Go to a soccer game.</b> If there's one thing that is an un-missable Messiah Experience it's the men's soccer games. Even if you're not big into sports, it's such a privilege to be at the school who holds a rare title for having Championship trophies in both men's and women's sports in the same year. Get to a game. From someone who has wept and laughed during those games, I can guarantee that it's something that you have to HAVE TO attend. Take friends!! Everything is better with more people.<br />
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<b>7. Be outside while you still can. </b>If you were to take a poll of the most beautiful seasons in Central Pennsylvania, I'm betting the majority of people would say Fall would come first. So enjoy it. There are few things more beautiful than Messiah in the fall. The leaves turn colors, the morning air is crisp, and on the weekends, you can go apple picking! Paulus Orchards is <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Messiah+College,+1+College+Ave,+Mechanicsburg,+PA+17055/Paulus+Orchards,+522+E+Mt+Airy+Rd,+Dillsburg,+PA+17019/@40.1508777,-76.9644938,13z/am=t/data=!4m13!4m12!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c8e8c0b22d487d:0x85a6affc49f5bcd3!2m2!1d-76.988194!2d40.157957!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c8eeb849e730a9:0x7c861142528d7120!2m2!1d-76.938817!2d40.124958" target="_blank">9 minutes away from campus</a>, and is a fun little place. One of my friends just told me she still has syrup in her fridge from there! Apples, pumpkins, and I think it might have a mini corn maze too! Again, take some friends. My RA organized an outing Sophomore year and it was great fun! Sitting by the Yellow Breeches is also a completely legitimate way to spend time outside too! There are benches and even a secret spot that I'd be more than happy to tell you about! Carve out some downtime to read a book, go find a place, pack some snacks and go read. Yes, academics are important, but there comes a time where you just have to veg and be outside.<br />
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<b>8. Make friends with the theatre people.</b> For some obscure reason, there's a myth/legend/partial-truth that theatre kids and music kids don't get along. But since you're a pianist, your talents will be called upon by lots of singers. Ask about being in the JTerm musical pit. That's a good way to get your foot in the door, and Dr. Dixon (if he's still there...I think he took a sabbatical last year...?), is super fun and really nice.<br />
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<b>9. It's ok to pick and choose your friends.</b> This is something I wish someone would have told me in high school. It's ok to not be friends with people you don't like. In college you will come across lots of people who might not share your viewpoints or beliefs. And that's ok! Use your discernment to figure out who will be an edifying friend, and who you can support as a friend. Looking back, I realize all the fights I had in college were ridiculous and not worth my time. And you know what, that's ok. You will make friends and you might even lose friends. But the important thing is to invest in the friendships and the communities that are God-honoring and positive!<br />
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<b>10. Speaking of "community," pick your Created and Called for Community (CCC) professor wisely.</b> CCC is the spring equivalent of FYS. Sometimes your peer group decides to stick together and schedule the same section of CCC. Sometimes you go your own ways. But whatever you do, make sure you know the positives of the professors. I LOVED my CCC professor. (Shout out to Rob Pepper!) He made everything clear, created a safe space for ideas, and was very very nice. I had some friends who DETESTED their CCC professor. So do your research. Ask your upperclassmen friends, or check out <a href="http://ratemyprofessor.com/" target="_blank">ratemyprofessor.com</a>. It's super helpful for everything actually! (Along the same academic lines, ask for help when you need it. I was so terrified of going to tutoring or office hours because I thought people would think I was stupid. But really that extra time would have saved me so much heartache my freshman year!)<br />
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<b>11. Get involved in the Worship Community</b>. The people you see up front leading worship during chapel? They are a few of the Messiah College Worship Community. Doug Curry is the guy to talk to about that, along with a few people in the music department. You could be one of the piano players, or a reader, or any other volunteer job they have. Check it out!<br />
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<b>12. Go sledding down Cemetery Hill. </b>This is something that is on my "regrets" list. As in, I didn't do it and what the heck was I thinking?! Seriously. The first weekend of good snow (Usually during JTerm), go sledding. And then go get hot chocolate at the Union.<br />
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<b>13. Service Trips. </b>Into The Streets isn't your only option! The Agape Center <a href="http://www.messiah.edu/info/21020/resources/1707/one-time_service_projects" target="_blank">has lots of options</a> to get involved! I organized two Service Day trips to Theatre Harrisburg in the spring of my Junior and Senior year and they were lots of fun. You can get your friends together and decide where you're going to serve!<br />
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<b>14. Coffeehouse. </b>Such a great way to see all the talent your school has to offer! Also, go to B-Sides! Wednesday nights at the Union. The Student Activities Board (SAB) brings in fun bands before they get popular. It's basically the ultimate hipster experience.<br />
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<b>15. Get to Orchard Hill and befriend President Phipps. </b>I remember the day I saw Pres. Phipps in the Falcon and she said "Hi Star!" and it made. my. day. I had only a few interactions with her and remembered me. Go to Pizza with the Prez. It's a fun little night where she brings pizza to your dorm and hangs out and chats! Orchard Hill is her house and it's beautiful! She will sometimes host dinners, and you might even get the chance to sing for her with concert choir! She is nice and listens to the students' requests, needs, etc...!<br />
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<b>16. HAVE. FUN. </b>This is seriously so important. Find things that make you happy. Breathe in the breezes, soak up the sunshine. Everyone always says that college that are the best 4 years of your life, and that it flies by so fast. And I can't agree more. But there are things you can do that will make those 4 years not only the best, but the most fun! Find your niche, but also don't be afraid to go outside of your comfort zone. That's where [most of] the growth happens. <b>Be safe, be smart, be silly, and be YOU.</b><br />
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-91260947464325307682014-07-30T12:39:00.000-04:002014-07-30T12:39:09.523-04:00Year 25, Wedding Planning Edition: Top 5 Things That Surprised Me<b>Top 5 Things That Surprised Me About Planning Our Wedding. (So Far.) </b><br />
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It's a beautiful day here in Happy Valley and I am up to my elbows in planning! There have been some bumps in the road, and I'm not one to "fake it" on Facebook and act like everything is 100% going our way. Because it hasn't been. A month ago, we decided to postpone the wedding altogether. After a rough evening, I was in tears sobbing for my wedding, and my marriage. The next day, Lando and I shared some tense moments pouring our hearts out to each other and coming to the conclusion that we needed to stop planning a party, and start working on our marriage. I emailed the marriage counselor at our church to set up a time to our pre-marital counseling sessions. In the meantime, while I was waiting to hear back from the counselor, Lando and I made a pact to not talk about wedding planning until he had gotten a job offer. It didn't make sense at the time to plan a wedding when we didn't know where he would be at the start of this school year. We stuck to that pact fairly well, and I'm quite proud of myself!! I felt like such a nerd starting counseling early, but I know I won't be 100% happy with one Big Day if the Rest of Our Lives are doomed. (More on that later.) As soon as we set up a time to meet, Lando and I started to ease back into the planning conversations. We took it one small step at a time: reconfirming our wants and absolute must haves and our "wouldn't it be great if...."<br />
Then, one morning I woke up with an idea. A great idea, and everything has fallen into place so far. So, stay tuned. Because it's going to be <i>explosively</i> amazing.<br />
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Anyway, I thought I'd share the top 5 things that have surprised me while planning:<br />
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<b>#5: How hard it is to plan a wedding. </b><br />
For years I've been saying how awesome it would be to become a wedding planner. It's actually one of my dream jobs! So when I got engaged, I set my jaw and said (numerous times) "We don't NEED a wedding planner. I got this, yo." Here we are three months later and we are searching for a wedding planner. To some it seems excessive, and I had that mindset too. But there are a million little things that go into this wedding, that I am sure I haven't thought of. For example: who takes the flowers from the church to the reception venue?? I'm not about to stick them in the back of my parents suburban and have them transported like that over a mountain! Those types of details can be ironed out with the help of a planner.<br />
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<b>#4: How hard it is to plan a wedding in State College. </b><br />
The person who is 1/2 of our photography team warned me about a week before I got engaged that local vendors would start booking up about a year in advance around here. Then I got engaged, we set an arbitrary date and it hit me that we were already MASSIVELY behind. We trudged through, looking at venues, meeting with people, and making internet searches. When our date changed the first time, I breathed a sigh of relief, because we had just bought ourselves the exact amount of time we needed. Then when that fell into the sinkhole of "Bad Ideas," and we came up with our new date, we somehow found ourselves in the "Holy Cow, This is Less Than A Year Away" category. (Side note: this may have been intentional on my part, and yes, Lando knows it.) So we contacted our three necessary vendors (Photographers, church, and reception venue) and ate a giant slice of humble pie, and asked if our new date was available. And, much to our relief, none of them were booked! Now, this is not to in anyway suggest that you slack on booking vendors in the Centre County Area. We were blessed....so, future State College brides, my advice is to pick three dates (which is apparently what you're supposed to do anyway....?), do your research on vendors in the area, and then propose the dates to see when they are available. We almost settled on a second choice vendor, and the moment I hit "send" on that email, I regretted it. <b>Don't regret your venue choices! </b>It will be the third most photographed thing on The Day. Next only to you and your partner, and your family and bridal party. (That statistic is completely made up.)<br />
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<b>#3: How expensive invitations are. </b><br />
Lando and I decided on invitations about a month after we got engaged. We made some Chinese food, turned on Boy Meets World, and went through the free samples I got from <a href="http://weddingpaperdivas.com/" target="_blank">Wedding Paper Divas</a>. WPD is seriously an amazing site. You get free shipping on all orders ALWAYS (the code is at the top of the page), and you can order up to 8 FREE samples. You can customize them (not with names, but with dates and designs), and they send you the invite, RSVP card, details card (lodging, etc...) AND the envelopes that match. I digress, we perused them. Picked out our top one, and did some number crunching. It was going to cost us over $1100 to get these invitations. We said a quick "heck no," to that, and decided to come back to that detail later. A few weeks went by and one of my dear friends asked what we were doing for invitations. I said I wasn't sure, but I knew I didn't want to pay a huge amount for them. He then said "I'll do them. I'm not kidding. I'll design your invitations for you." So now, Josh is designing our Save The Dates and our invites and so far, they are so cool. Josh knows me fairly well, and can tell what I might like, or what I might not like, and always checks with me to make sure I've actually shared his ideas with Lando. (Ha! Whoops. Doing my best to keep this an egalitarian planned activity!) In the long run, Josh is saving us an enormous amount of money, and he <i>might</i> be off the hook for getting us a wedding present...<br />
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<b>#2: How much of an adult I am...not.</b><br />
As 20 somethings, we really struggle with where and how we fit into this world that we're inhabiting. I always felt that the minute some brave guy wanted to wife me, and put a sparkly ring on my finger, my course would be laid out before me. I felt so grown up the morning after The Proposal, when my dad and I were filing my taxes. And then when Lando and I started budgeting and crunching numbers, I felt so grown up, because if you know me, you know I'm a terrible money manager. That's around the time I realized that I had no money to spend on this wedding. And that was right around the time that I decided to put in my two weeks notice at my job, that I didn't like, but was my only source of income. So for the last three months, I've been poor. Like, poorer than I've ever been in my entire life, and the most discouraged I have ever been in my entire life. I'll spare you the gory details, but there were other things happening that made me feel like I wasn't ready for marriage. I've cried a lot, and there have been some intense arguments with various people, but<b> in the end, as a good friend reminded me, no one is ever truly ready for marriage. It's a journey that most of us in our early 20s have never been on, so of course we're not "ready" for it. But we can prepare for it as best we can. </b>Counseling, budgeting, job searching, going on road-trips with your fiance (seriously, go on a 3.5 hour + road-trip with your significant other. If you can handle that, and both of you escape well-fed and alive, you can climb marriage mountains), and lots of reminders to keep things easy. Laugh a lot. Take time away from planning The Day, and plan The Rest of Your Life. We've started our marriage counseling, and it was an amazing, and very eye-opening, 2 hour session. It got pretty intense really fast, and none of us were expecting it. But because of that, Lando and I feel better prepared for our second session. I digress...take time out of the wedding planning to work on your marriage, and your personal lives. Because once all the confetti, sparklers, and your Caribbean tan all fade away, and it's just the two of you standing in the kitchen of your new home...that's when stuff gets real. And if you're not prepared for that....it probably won't be easy.<br />
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<b>#1: How much support we have. </b><br />
Seriously, we have had an OVERWHELMING amount of support. People have come out of the woodwork to offer tips, and tricks, or simply lunch dates to talk about wedding plans. People I haven't talked to in years have inquired about how things are going. It's amazing to know that even though I might not be invited to share in their festivities, women are so helpful when it comes to wedding planning. I think that's one of the coolest things about being engaged...people who have been there will lend an ear, advice, a bag full of vendor information, anything. And this is not to say that our non-engaged or even single friends haven't been helpful....they've been some of our biggest supporters! Especially the people in our bridal party. So a tip for picking bridesmaids and groomsmen: think of the people you know you can trust. Choose the girls who will come over for a wedding crafting night, and the guys who will take you out for wings when your bride gets a little overbearing. (It will happen. Even the most casual bride has her "must haves" list.) Ask your parents to chip in! I found a great article on TheKnot on <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/getting-the-father-of-the-bride-involved.aspx" target="_blank">how to get the Father of the Bride involved</a> in the planning. I think it's adorable, and dads, or step dads, will jump at the chance to help their little girl have a special day. Let your day be your day, but don't be so prideful that you refuse help. You'll be up to your ears in mini details that would be easy to sort out if you ask for some assistance!<br />
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So those have been some things that I've learned along the way...so far. Advice, additions, and questions, as always are welcome at anytime!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimU8W3e8VJ-lhVxUi09UhXXpVsHHkD8s_dyiKVGDewPU-AQOzYhZn3vdnOIeA3gKOrBD1iwaKtOFGooHPywG2b5eIO7ml5Yrn_s6U1t6EGwHxU8RxhgKOhFOfLkiDlDIRGEV-Br5BevrHB/s1600/invitesample2cropped.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimU8W3e8VJ-lhVxUi09UhXXpVsHHkD8s_dyiKVGDewPU-AQOzYhZn3vdnOIeA3gKOrBD1iwaKtOFGooHPywG2b5eIO7ml5Yrn_s6U1t6EGwHxU8RxhgKOhFOfLkiDlDIRGEV-Br5BevrHB/s1600/invitesample2cropped.png" height="210" width="320" /></a></div>
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(This is one of the invite samples from Wedding Paper Divas! </div>
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I've cropped out the irrelevant information, but you get the point!)</div>
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-44194152147878941922014-06-11T17:41:00.000-04:002014-06-11T22:02:21.420-04:00Happy Things. Hey y'all!<br />
It's been a rough couple of days at Casa de Estrella, so today I decided to focus on things that make me happy! So, here are 5 things on my table today that are making me smile.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFvMR-QvZ_LvxsmVVNrPSnatKXlqxtyzHnk5lcf6_kOzSriAOKyvP5Baj3sZ45ib-hmNpK02boLIuLDoga1V15g7Q2q6ehnVoF_cj_ITDRUZwWkMO1MDCSP_iCCyjpHT5a455gPJlWkrJ/s1600/happythings.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivFvMR-QvZ_LvxsmVVNrPSnatKXlqxtyzHnk5lcf6_kOzSriAOKyvP5Baj3sZ45ib-hmNpK02boLIuLDoga1V15g7Q2q6ehnVoF_cj_ITDRUZwWkMO1MDCSP_iCCyjpHT5a455gPJlWkrJ/s1600/happythings.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>1. Fresh Cut Flowers </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUpV7INb_MLtwhihyxeJ9XZvi7MWZXr7V1X4gWUcNjN5boCgi9i4msCqRiPzJYWZLjwYpLM5t96_rd2v4G9UqVbD1SGetBAl9aXJLjq_OxQM0LImDu8iMwIy-sZ3ZD1Ni9_8KkvtHgRLSN/s1600/IMG_1052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUpV7INb_MLtwhihyxeJ9XZvi7MWZXr7V1X4gWUcNjN5boCgi9i4msCqRiPzJYWZLjwYpLM5t96_rd2v4G9UqVbD1SGetBAl9aXJLjq_OxQM0LImDu8iMwIy-sZ3ZD1Ni9_8KkvtHgRLSN/s1600/IMG_1052.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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I love fresh cut flowers, but I don't indulge in them enough. Last week, the old fashioned rose bush bloomed as did the two peony bushes! Peonies have always been one of my favorite flowers, and total motivation to have a spring wedding. The old fashioned rose has such a distinct aroma and I am catching whiffs of it from across the room. It's the smaller pink one nestled between the two peonies. I cut them off and then hand-tied them with some twine that I found on my sister's potting table. I put them in some tap water and I am enjoying them immensely. I'm also keeping a constant watch to make sure that no bugs are crawling out of them...</div>
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<b>2. My Homemade iPad Case</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYqa4FyvjPVAWemYGOUSNU6xZUjQCGXW95hEa6k0ZfC5W-83LbK3EKFas3zpllUy-gEkL-cntWt8WxYzEC8ClFQlzYMi-WwtBoqv2dJJCa56atPg23wZO-mMOVFcgUcCfIqTdyMA9OBuOl/s1600/IMG_1051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYqa4FyvjPVAWemYGOUSNU6xZUjQCGXW95hEa6k0ZfC5W-83LbK3EKFas3zpllUy-gEkL-cntWt8WxYzEC8ClFQlzYMi-WwtBoqv2dJJCa56atPg23wZO-mMOVFcgUcCfIqTdyMA9OBuOl/s1600/IMG_1051.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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My sister made this for me when I first got my iPad and I'm still obsessed with it. She had given me some options of fabric, and naturally, I chose the one with the hedgehogs all over it. She made the pattern herself, and really, let's be honest, I wasn't surprised when she told me that. (This is the woman who made my other sister's wedding dress and all the bridesmaid dresses. She's too creative.) It's slightly padded, but not puffy....if that makes sense. It's like quilted on the inside. So yeah. the colors are happy, and <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/starmichelle88/hedgehogs/" target="_blank">I love hedgehogs</a>, so it kind of makes sense! </div>
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<b>3. Sephora by O.P.I Nail Color</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwDHdXkkMWoGlx0ypbJpHiItsBNSTyt9_ANKYa7g0zXO00wlSv57LHGLDzZALs-KKNg6lrFW6tFO_OOcmM44HJT_B0BVhkp_oCR0cORNN7qydv2IFlwBa1p1lIokHT1IKIzbR7RiYSlSPI/s1600/IMG_1050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwDHdXkkMWoGlx0ypbJpHiItsBNSTyt9_ANKYa7g0zXO00wlSv57LHGLDzZALs-KKNg6lrFW6tFO_OOcmM44HJT_B0BVhkp_oCR0cORNN7qydv2IFlwBa1p1lIokHT1IKIzbR7RiYSlSPI/s1600/IMG_1050.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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I love this stuff. I bought it three summers ago, and haven't worn it as much as I would like, but when I do wear it, it just makes me feel fancy. The color is "I Only Shop Vintage" and it's a nice "nude" shade. Now, when I say "nude" I don't mean pink...I mean "nude" as in, "it matches MY skin tone." It's not a heavy gold, and it's a bit sparkly. The JCPenny I used to frequent when I lived at home dropped a Sephora in the middle of the store. It was a nice addition, and this is the only thing I ever bought there. You can find this color <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dbeauty&field-keywords=I%20only%20shop%20vintage%20nail%20color" target="_blank">online</a>. </div>
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<b>4. "The Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIcQI3HT4djn2hymRGjrW_J5se9y2yKgCo6mwKmcl-KLa9C8AmzwGa7t87vRDoIgz1K7SlXK66WZeMOFQyGdZvDyR4f7aDEfWjP11tlXX4cPHtrWx-n44MF-9bmEq7qoWzMccAPgunSvI/s1600/IMG_1049.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFIcQI3HT4djn2hymRGjrW_J5se9y2yKgCo6mwKmcl-KLa9C8AmzwGa7t87vRDoIgz1K7SlXK66WZeMOFQyGdZvDyR4f7aDEfWjP11tlXX4cPHtrWx-n44MF-9bmEq7qoWzMccAPgunSvI/s1600/IMG_1049.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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I've been reading this book for almost a year. I have one chapter left, and I'm going to be sad to have it all finished. I mean, sure I can read it again. But this book has been a huge reason why my view of marriage has literally been turned upside down. The subtitle is "What if God designed marriage to make us holy, more than to make us happy?" He touches on conflict, forgiveness, prayer, and of course, sex, and how all of these things can lead us not only closer to our spouse, but also closer to the cross. I NEVER highlight or underline books, but this one is littered. It also has a study guide at the back of the book if you decide to dig deeper. I think I'll be using that when I decide to read it again. You can <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Marriage-What-Designed-Happy/dp/0310242827/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1402522081&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sacred+marriage" target="_blank">purchase "The Sacred Marriage" on Amazon.</a> </div>
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<b>5. A Lace Table Runner</b></div>
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I have no idea where this lace table runner (that you see in all of the pictures), came from. I wanted a pretty background for my pictures, so I grabbed the first lacy thing I found. I love lace. I didn't used to until I met Lando and started looking at more modern wedding dresses. I think the detailing is super intricate and it makes anything look and feel more classic and flowy. You can often find antique lace at estate sales, or antique stores! </div>
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So these are the things that are making me smile today! Leave a comment and tell me what things cheer you up when you're feeling blue! </div>
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Shine Bright! </div>
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-S. </div>
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-37442067890617377712014-06-06T14:39:00.001-04:002014-06-06T14:47:59.514-04:00Year 25: I'M ENGAGED!!!!!Most of you reading this now already know but this is my official announcement to the world that on April 11th, Lando asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said, (and I quote directly): "Ohmygosh. Ohmygosh. Ohmygosh.........YES!"<br />
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The whole thing was a complete and total surprise to me. Lando orchestrated the whole thing, and it was beautifully, and SNEAKILY executed by the ENTIRE cast and crew of "Godspell," my best friend Liesl, my family, and a few friends who knew it was happening, so they came to see the show and The Proposal. The entire experience of "Godspell" was amazing, and life-changing for many of us involved, and this was the cherry on top of the sweetest bowl of ice cream ever invented.<br />
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Brief timeline of events, so you have some background before watching the video. (Yes, there's a video). On Sunday the 6th, the cast performed for several of Calvary's church services. It was a fun day, and it was also the day we were to load the set into the State Theatre. Our choreographer Sara asked if I wanted to ride with her from the one church service to the theatre and help unload things. I said sure! I was free for the rest of the day and it would be no problem. We sat in the lobby of the theatre because church was still going on, and I was just on my phone texting, and on facebook while Sara was working on a few things for the week. I thought nothing of the fact that none of the other cast members showed up for about 2 hours. It was a beautiful day and I was content to just be. As it turns out, Sara was The Diverter. As she was holding me hostage in the theatre, Lando was at my house in Boalsburg asking my parents for their blessing. (Side Note: Ladies....just...I don't care how non-traditional you are, this is seriously an important step for your guy to do before he proposes.) They obviously said yes! Lando later told me that they also took time to pray with him at the end of the conversation! Of course that made me cry! I feel so blessed to have parents who love and support us!<br />
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The rest of the week was pretty normal. Tech and dress rehearsals, being able to finally use our AMAZING set, and having a rocking opening night on Thursday the 10th.<br />
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Then came Friday. It was a dreary rainy State College day, but I. Did. Not. Care. My best friend was coming to town to see the show!! Liesl and I have been best friends for 5 years. She's always there to put me back on track and make sure I'm not becoming more of a hot mess than I already am. She's inspiring, and strong and just a beautiful woman of God. And she was coming to see my show. She also brought with her two friends from Lancaster, our former camper AJ, and his mom Michele. AJ and I have a special bond, and Michele is seriously one of the nicest people ever. We all went out to dinner, and Lando and Andrew (the guy plying Jesus) met up with us. Lando and Liesl exchanged a big hug and I rolled my eyes. "You guys love each other a little too much." I said. "Yep. We do." Lando replied, barely making eye contact with me. Lando sat on the other side of Liesl and we all talked and joked and enjoyed some good food. We went down to the theatre to get ready and at one point Lando was sitting on the couch in the green room staring off into space. I asked if he was alright, and he said his stomach was feeling a little off. I just figured it was pre-show jitters, so I let him have his space. (#ActorProblems). The show was great despite a tiny problem of missing a parable (an ENTIRE parable), I was feeling dehydrated, and then I swapped some words around in my song. In the grand scheme of things. It was no big deal.<br />
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At the end of the show we had our curtain call, and we went back to the dressing rooms to change. Our stage manager caught me and said "Hey Star, whenever you're done, head upstairs. We have a light cue that we need to adjust during 'All Good Gifts.'" I said sure, but that I really needed to grab a bottle of water and I had friends waiting for me, and hopefully they would stay. I sent a text to all my friends to not go anywhere because we needed to fix a light cue. They all assured me they would wait. We all headed back upstairs and I was chugging water like it was going out of style. Sara, once again, doing her job, came over to me and said, "here Star, I'll hold your water for you." and snatched it out of my hands. I was so upset. All I wanted to do was drink some water. For heaven's sake, someone was passing around a cookie and they didn't get that taken away! I was like, alright, fine. Whatever. And that's when this happened.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/hp9ktlxJBKg" width="480"></iframe><br />
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As you can see. I was pretty excited, as were the rest of our friends. What I still can't believe is how EVERYONE lied to me (and didn't feel bad about it!), and kept the whole event a secret. I feel so blessed to have been able to share the stage with all of these amazing people, and to have them be a part of a moment that will live on in my memory forever! It was also extra special because Lando had invited some of our other mutual theatre friends to be there, and my friend Katrina, who had NO idea what was going on, happened to be at the show that night too! It was so overwhelming to have that much support right away! Oh, I called my mom after the camera was turned off, and her response was "We've been checking our phones ALL NIGHT!" I have such a great cheer-leading section!<br />
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So that happened, and we are full speed ahead planning this expensive party. We are so excited and feel so blessed that we're able to spend a joyous time together with friends and family along the way!<br />
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I'm going to try hard to blog, but please forgive me if I allow another time lapse! I'm auditioning for King Lear in July, so perhaps that will allow for some good stories. (Provided I get cast!)<br />
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Feel free to share the video, and please reach out to me with any any wedding-related questions/comments, (either offering suggestions, or asking for some), as we are getting a really good education on how to do this. We are headed to a venue this afternoon and I'm praying this is the one!!<br />
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Thank you to everyone who has already shared so many kind words and invaluable advice with us! We appreciate it more than you know! We love you all!<br />
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Carry on my warrior friends, and as always, Shine Bright!<br />
-S.<br />
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PS: Here's a picture of the ring! Lando did a great job, with the help of his Best Men, Ben and Colin. Love you three guys so much!!<br />
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-10612517705120413902014-02-28T12:05:00.000-05:002014-02-28T12:16:12.825-05:00Diversity in the Theatre: I won't stop speaking up. <span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Lately, I've been feeling like a broken record.</b> I can count on two hands the number of times I've recently said "white people show" or "shows where the director feels the family unit MUST be white." I understand that by living in Central Pennsylvania, I've kind of limited my options, but I'm dealing with that personally after a swift kick in the pants by someone I respect. (Side note: I'm planning on moving!!!!! More on that in another post eventually!) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you know me, you know that the subject of race isn't something I talk about it. I grew up in a white family. I never really thought that I was "less than" or had to work extra hard because I was black.Of course some people think I should take my skin color and let it define me in all aspects of my life. But I'm not going to do that. I don't find my identity in my skin color, I find it in who I am in Christ. But that's also a different blog post for a different time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was recently asked to audition for a role of a middle aged, southern, black man. I didn't want to do it. I felt guilted into auditioning, because, I guess, I was the only black actor around here that people could think of. Which would be cool if the show had been "Race" by David Mamet, and the role was Susan a 20something (maybe early 30s...) black lawyer. But it wasn't. And I didn't audition. I included this in my email to the director, and I meant every word of it two weeks ago, and I still mean them today: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I think that finding a play with one African American character was very bold, and a very cool decision on your part. On the flip side, as an African American actress who is involved in a community theatre that only seems to pick shows where WHITE families are the main characters, unfortunately, I don't have a prayer of being cast. And then having the option to audition for a show just because I'm black, is cool, I guess, but "being black" isn't really my schtick. I'm a talented actress, and I can do so much more than just look a certain way. And my prayer for the future of theatre is that my son or daughter will not be called upon for a role just because of their skin color. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Theatre is moving in such a good direction, when it comes to diverse casting, but I think we who are involved at the community level need to be more conscious of picking shows that can be filled with people of all races and backgrounds, not just a show with a "token black." The world itself is changing...I'm in a serious relationship with a white guy, I have some biracial friends, and some Indian friends and some Filipino friends. We are hard-pressed, especially in the State College community, to find someone who is 100% anything. Diverse backgrounds are becoming the norm in the world, and I believe that theatre should be a direct reflection of life and the world around us. Otherwise, unless we're doing a historic Wilson, or GB Shaw, or Isben, it becomes inauthentic, and more difficult to relate to. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Thankfully, a lot of contemporary playwrights are moving in that direction. And they're doing that by writing plays that don't have specific character breakdowns. Which is awesome, because it gives actors of color more of a chance of being involved! </span></blockquote>
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I'd like to point out that I'm not the only one thinking, talking, and writing about diversity in the theatre. I recently read a great article about the <a href="http://www.broadstreetreview.com/theater/the-role-of-the-theater-critic" target="_blank">role of theatre critics where diversity is concerned.</a> The Article Overview reads:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1a1b1d; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px;">Some critics don’t concern themselves with diversity or context, sticking to the subject before them. This is its own form of injustice as well as an abandonment of the critic’s role; to see exclusionary practices and not comment on them is to perpetuate them, but also, to pretend a show exists in a cultural vacuum does a disservice to the role of art. </span></blockquote>
I love this. The article goes on to say that the lack of diversity isn't just cultural/background. The theatre is also severely lacking women playwrights, producers, directors, etc...:<br />
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<span style="color: #1a1b1d; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px;">Just </span><a href="http://www.tcg.org/publications/at/nov09/women.cfm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #38789c; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">17 percent of plays</a><span style="color: #1a1b1d; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px;"> produced in this country are written by women. Since 2000, the annual list of the </span><a href="https://www.tcg.org/publications/at/ATtopten.cfm" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #38789c; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">top 10 most-produced plays</a><span style="color: #1a1b1d; font-family: chaparral-pro, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 27px;"> averages three female playwrights. (An interesting side note: there’s far more ethnic diversity among these women than there is among their male counterparts, which is great, but leads me to wonder whether this is because such playwrights enable artistic directors to check off more than one “diversity” box.) </span> </blockquote>
I literally couldn't have written a better side note if I tried. Do we as theatre practitioners purposely stack our decks so we can appear diverse? This honestly hasn't been my experience, but I pray to God it never happens. <br />
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There are a few sides to the diversity situation: people who think producers should strive to include all types of people in every show of the season; people who think that the only type of "diversity" we should have is a<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbbewRSc-C0" target="_blank">"Random Black Girl"</a> in the ensemble of every musical (these people are usually the more old fashioned types of directors); and then there are people who don't think about this at all, which isn't necessarily a problem, but it's not a solution either. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm no expert, but I think the biggest thing we at the local level are missing is a simple dialogue on this issue. I can sit here all day and link you to bigger theatre communities who have devoted <a href="http://howlround.com/on-valuing-diversity-managing-diversity-and-the-difference" target="_blank">entire studies</a> to managing and valuing diversity... but I think I'd prefer to ask the questions myself: </span><br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Why couldn't we produce "Race" by David Mamet for a season? Or any other shows like that? (Memphis!! Sister Act!! The Color Purple!!)</li>
<li>Why aren't we able to draw a larger diverse crowd to our shows?</li>
<li>What if we took the notion of "black people wouldn't have been anything other than maids in the 1930s" and threw it out, and cast a black woman as Reno Sweeney, or any type of lead? </li>
<li>Who says every family unit all has to look the same? I mean, have you <i>seen </i>my parents and siblings??</li>
<li>What if we just sat down, and talked it all out? </li>
</ol>
<div>
I feel like I took the long way to a simple point, but I think the only way to get there is to talk about the hard, and potentially uncomfortable things. Sure, I may talk about it a lot, but that's because it's important to me. As a woman, as an actress of color, and as a human being. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I truly believe that art is a direct reflection of life, and I think most of my theatre and artist friends would agree. And if we're being truthful, life isn't seeing all white-bread families everywhere anymore. (Biracial, adoptive, and blended families, for example.) So why should our theatres show that? It's a direct misrepresentation of the world around us, and it's not 100% relatable to today's audiences. So even though I'm one person, I believe that I have the power to at least ignite the conversation. Join me, and together, we could change the world. </div>
<div>
******************</div>
<div>
More Links: </div>
<div>
<a href="http://howlround.com/diversity-in-american-theater-from-catch-phrase-to-meaningful-change" target="_blank">Diveristy in American Theater: From Catchphrase to Meaningful Change</a></div>
<br />
<a href="http://howlround.com/diversity-in-american-theater-the-mythology-of-color-blindconscience-casting" target="_blank">Diversity in American Theater: The Mythology of Color Blind/Conscience Casting</a><br />
<a href="http://howlround.com/on-valuing-diversity-managing-diversity-and-the-difference" target="_blank">On Valuing Diversity, Managing Diversity, and the Difference </a><br />
<a href="http://www.koomandimond.com/index.html" target="_blank">"Random Black Girl" Composers: Kooman and Dimond </a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-22384512271780812852014-02-05T17:26:00.001-05:002014-02-05T17:26:34.315-05:00"After All This Time?" Some of you know this, and others of you might drop dead, but <b>I have never read the Harry Potter series.</b> Gasp. Breathe in...breathe out....<br />
I was an extremely gullible child. You know all those Christian Parents who wouldn't let their kids read HP because of the magic? Well, I think my parents didn't let me read them because they assumed I'd probably try to make things levitate, etc..., and get angry when it didn't happen and try to burn down the house. To give a point of reference, I was in 6th grade when the first book came out. So, yeah, I was a little young.<br />
<br />
By the time I realized I would survive if I had read them, I decided not too. I don't know why, but I just didn't. I went to college and I was basically the only one in all my friend groups who hadn't read them. But throughout the years, I have seen 4.5 of the movies, so I think that counts for something. I know it's not the same, but at least I'm not completely clueless.<br />
After the last movie was released my News Feed, Pinterest and Twitter timeline were BLOWN UP with all these feelings. I loved how passionate my friends were, but to be honest, it didn't motivate me to read the books.<br />
This past fall, I met a beautiful young woman named Veronica who is a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/IdasBakery" target="_blank">baker</a>, and basically just a really awesome human being. Recently she started to re-read the Harry Potter books and <a href="http://theritualofourexistence.tumblr.com/post/72665132098/harry-potter-post-1-book-1-chapters-1-10" target="_blank">blogging about them in segments. </a> So, naturally, I thought, <i>Veronica is really nice, and really cool, so I'm going to start reading the books and read her blogs alongside them!</i><br />
<br /><b>I clearly have not started that. </b><br />
<br />
And now that JK Rowling has come out and <a href="http://newsfeed.time.com/2014/02/02/j-k-rowling-says-hermione-should-have-ended-up-with-harry-potter-not-ron/" target="_blank">said that she thinks Hermione should have not ended up with Ron, and should have married Harry</a> , I'm over the whole entire thing.<br />
<br />
Why in the world would I want to read books with a story line that THE AUTHOR has now regretted? Why would I spend literally over hundreds of hours investing my emotions into to characters, when I know that the author would have written this book a different way? Why couldn't she have just sat on her pile of billions, and silently regretted this? Why?? Millions of HP fans have been devastated, and me?? I'm not even a "fan" per se, and I'm upset enough to write a blog about this!!!<br />
<br />
To me, it kills any hope I had of picturing all the cool things that exist in the wonderful wizard-y world. And to be honest, I had no idea that Ron and Hermione ended up together. I knew Harry got with Luna Lovegood (right? Is that right? Hold on...Googling.....) Just kidding, he marries Ginny. I TOTALLY knew that. But I seriously didn't know the Ron-Hermione match. So now I'm just sad, because, what if I wanted them to end up together?? What if I wished Hermione would have stayed single?? My hopes would have been ruined either way.<br />
<br />
I'm sure I'll be able to get over this eventually, and I'll read the books, but for now, you'll have to excuse me while I mourn the loss of something I never had in the first place.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipx3QuiHBarWSZ69NFr1jyqap6b3QOv2r_iOtXH_aLSP-RJbBGH2Dj1DE78LcGTpiIR5atlg8i7oJ5DIZjN5mS29E1Nb6fthwkK_OrL60qmNO_Gdekz5pZKxVNoYukDqdViPxv_T7A-RWF/s1600/they-see-me-rowling-they-hatin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipx3QuiHBarWSZ69NFr1jyqap6b3QOv2r_iOtXH_aLSP-RJbBGH2Dj1DE78LcGTpiIR5atlg8i7oJ5DIZjN5mS29E1Nb6fthwkK_OrL60qmNO_Gdekz5pZKxVNoYukDqdViPxv_T7A-RWF/s1600/they-see-me-rowling-they-hatin.jpg" height="320" width="308" /></a></div>
<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-22288826348538866092014-02-03T11:37:00.000-05:002014-02-03T11:39:46.683-05:00Guest Post: Elizabeth's Top 10 Things to Do on A Snow Day (That Don't Include Technology)<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><i><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">IT'S SNOWING! Surprise of all surprises, right? It's the millionth snowy day of 2014 here in Central Pennsylvania, and I asked my best friend Elizabeth to share with us a list of 10 things to do on a snow day! She's very much not </span><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">dependent</span><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> on technology like I am, so here is her list of things to do that don't involve sitting in front of a screen! Enjoy! </span></i></span></b></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<b><span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>-S. </i></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<b style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">1. Spend some time with God:</b><span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Read your Bible, pray, just sit and spend some time thanking Him for the blessings He has given you. I promise you won't regret it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>2. </b></span></span><b style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Read a book: </b><span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Any book. Do it. It can be a kid's book for all I care. Just do it. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>3. Be creative: </b>You know that painting/scrapbook/knitting/<wbr></wbr>woodwork etc. project that you have been wanting to do/finish but have been putting off because you don't have time? Well guess what, you have time now! Get to work!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>4. Write.</b> It can be a journal, a book, or a letter to someone! I mean, come on, everyone loves to get mail! </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>5. </b></span></span><b style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bake or cook:</b><span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> We ALL have a recipe board on Pinterest of deliciousness that we want to try. Even if you aren't a good cook/baker, this is the perfect time to practice!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>6. Clean:</b> I know, I know. This sounds boring and not fun at all, but seriously. You have all day, why not get some of your weekly cleaning done! Even if it's just light cleaning, you have the time. Or if you want to be really ambitious and deep clean something, go for it!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>7. Play in the snow:</b> Build a snowman, have a snowball fight, make snow angels, or just take a snowy walk! Embrace your inner child!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>8. Play an instrument/sing:</b> Practice makes perfect! So go ahead and play away! I personally don't do this as often as I would like to, but when I do get the chance, it's so relaxing and calming. </span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>9. Work out:</b> Yea, this isn't one I do very often. You'll feel better after you do it though! (Or so I've been told...)</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>10. Play a game: </b>Board game...card game....just have fun!</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>BONUS!! </b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b> </b></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>11. Snow day photo shoot: </b>Seriously, grab your camera and document your snow day! Make some memories!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3e454c; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 15.359999656677246px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyGzDZ15y4k5uSgpd9ENWw9AXCH6A6vu1Bm0p8sE24nJCwQy4rB0gmfITEP0DH9wsBtTfKbfZMISI4nMywqYOUMbX-_8AMNxIJavPouiGqBbiwNq53beteOMOk2c6nKGT1w1lLXASeM4A8/s1600/snowoutsideofeastrossstreet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyGzDZ15y4k5uSgpd9ENWw9AXCH6A6vu1Bm0p8sE24nJCwQy4rB0gmfITEP0DH9wsBtTfKbfZMISI4nMywqYOUMbX-_8AMNxIJavPouiGqBbiwNq53beteOMOk2c6nKGT1w1lLXASeM4A8/s1600/snowoutsideofeastrossstreet.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-25343405942510490812014-01-26T10:01:00.000-05:002014-01-26T10:01:34.912-05:00Year 25: Tactful Avoidance (With an intro about First World Problems) <div class="tr_bq">
I'm a huge fan of #FirstWorldProblems. If you search the hashtag on Twitter you get an amazing look at all the menial things people of privilege (aka, anyone in the US, UK, or other Middle-to-Upper-Middle-Class Countries), are dealing with on a daily basis. For example: </div>
<blockquote>
<a class="account-group js-account-group js-action-profile js-user-profile-link js-nav" data-user-id="280686562" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;"><strong class="fullname js-action-profile-name show-popup-with-id" style="color: #333333;">First World Problems</strong> <span class="username js-action-profile-name" style="direction: ltr; font-size: 12px; unicode-bidi: embed;"><span style="color: #bbbbbb;">@</span>firstworldme</span></a><small class="time" style="color: #bbbbbb; float: right; font-size: 12px; margin-top: 1px; position: relative;"><a class="tweet-timestamp js-permalink js-nav js-tooltip" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme/status/426342460055248896" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;" title="8:15 AM - 23 Jan 2014">Jan 23</a></small>The heated leather seats in this rental car take, like, four minutes to warm up my backside. <a class="twitter-hashtag pretty-link js-nav" data-query-source="hashtag_click" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23firstworldproblems&src=hash" style="color: #0084b4; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #66b5d2;">#</span>firstworldproblems</a><br /><a class="account-group js-account-group js-action-profile js-user-profile-link js-nav" data-user-id="280686562" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;"><strong class="fullname js-action-profile-name show-popup-with-id" style="color: #333333;">First World Problems</strong> <span class="username js-action-profile-name" style="direction: ltr; font-size: 12px; unicode-bidi: embed;"><span style="color: #bbbbbb;">@</span>firstworldme</span></a><small class="time" style="color: #bbbbbb; float: right; font-size: 12px; margin-top: 1px; position: relative;"><a class="tweet-timestamp js-permalink js-nav js-tooltip" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme/status/426101390079819776" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;" title="4:17 PM - 22 Jan 2014">Jan 22</a></small>Had to cut bagels in half myself because they didn't come pre-sliced. <a class="twitter-hashtag pretty-link js-nav" data-query-source="hashtag_click" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23firstworldproblems&src=hash" style="color: #0084b4; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #66b5d2;">#</span>firstworldproblems</a><br /><a class="account-group js-account-group js-action-profile js-user-profile-link js-nav" data-user-id="280686562" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;"><strong class="fullname js-action-profile-name show-popup-with-id" style="color: #333333;">First World Problems</strong> <span class="username js-action-profile-name" style="direction: ltr; font-size: 12px; unicode-bidi: embed;"><span style="color: #bbbbbb;">@</span>firstworldme</span></a><small class="time" style="color: #bbbbbb; float: right; font-size: 12px; margin-top: 1px; position: relative;"><a class="tweet-timestamp js-permalink js-nav js-tooltip" href="https://twitter.com/firstworldme/status/426009091593363457" style="color: #999999; text-decoration: none;" title="10:10 AM - 22 Jan 2014">Jan 22</a></small>My snowblower won't start. <a class="twitter-hashtag pretty-link js-nav" data-query-source="hashtag_click" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23firstworldproblems&src=hash" style="color: #0084b4; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #66b5d2;">#</span>firstworldproblems</a></blockquote>
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Ok, so maybe that last one is actually a big deal if you're living in the North East right now. But I'm looking at all the people right here in State College who have bigger issues than I do. The homeless wanderers, the stranger guy at the cafe who approached me the other morning, who I will blog about later....it's just heartbreaking.<br />
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It's also heartbreaking because I'm not woman enough to face my own problems. Anytime I'm hit with confrontation or conflict, my instinct is to run, hide, and avoid. Sweeping things under the rug should be my Olympic sport.<br />
<br />
Tactful Avoidance is easy. But it's not always the best thing for us...for me. I prefer to distract myself from the bigger issues in life by trying to figure out trivial ones. For example, I'm sad to be missing Sean and Catherine's wedding tonight, (You know, the couple from last year's season of The Bachelor...!), but really I should be sad that I feel emotionally drained from a situation that probably wasn't a big deal to begin with. But it's easier to focus on the things that provide us an escape from reality. <br />
<br />
Sometimes an escape is good, healthy even. But when all we're doing is escaping, we can lose sight of the important things directly affecting the people we love, and the world around us. My challenge to you, and to myself this week is to take time to focus on just one thing that you've been avoiding. It might be confrontation, it might be cleaning your room (whoops...), or it might be figuring out whether or not to accept/turn down/think about that big job offer you just got. Whatever it it, set aside sometime to think, meditate, and pray about the situation. I will join you in doing this as well.<br />
Because running from problems is exhausting, and I'm getting worn out.<br />
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-S.<br />
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-25413794101704324092014-01-01T14:57:00.001-05:002014-01-01T14:57:21.257-05:00Year 25: New Year's Edition<b>Here we are. January 1st.</b> My News Feed and Twitter Timeline is full of people saying good riddance to 2013. Some nicely...some harshly. I don't know everyone's story from this past year, but as I'm getting older, I see more and more people spewing malice at the past 364.75 days. Honestly, I don't get it. Now, that's not to discredit anyone's tragedy, or loss, or extreme challenge; but instead of focusing on how terrible the past year was, shouldn't we be thankful that God saw us through all of our tough times? Sure, it's nice to bury the past and move on, but it's our past that shapes how we approach the future. So as you continue your toast to 2014, remember to take the things that make you say "Sayonara, 2013!" and turn them into applicable life lessons for 2014!<br />
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I've seen this quote from Steve Jobs floating around, and I really think it's a good reminder:<br />
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As for me, this past year was about growth as a daughter, a girlfriend, a theatre practitioner and a student. I'm not in the habit of making resolutions, but here is the start (and partial continuation) of my Year 25 Active Challenges List:<br />
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<ol>
<li>Instead of resolving to hit the gym twice a week, I challenge myself to treat my body as my instrument. I challenge myself to look beyond the things I can't physically overhaul, and focus on the things that are easily modified. </li>
<li>I challenge myself to show more thoughtfulness and gratitude towards those I love. </li>
<li>I challenge myself to approach every audition (4 in the next month and a half!!) as a learning experience. </li>
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<li>3a: I will NOT put myself down after an audition. I will learn from my mistakes and correct them for the next time. </li>
</ul>
<li>I challenge myself to gracefully say "no" to things I know will not be good for my mental stability. </li>
<li>I challenge myself to stop drinking coffee. Completely. </li>
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<li>5a: I also challenge myself, to stop indulging in food that I know makes me feel sub-par. </li>
</ul>
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So those are 5, non-overwhelming things I'm going to challenge myself to do this year. I have many more, but I think 5 was a good place to start. </div>
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What about you? Are you happy to see the New Year, or is January 1st just another day? What are some of our resolutions or challenges? Share them in the comments below! </div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-58550678900716272262013-12-24T08:59:00.002-05:002013-12-24T08:59:52.594-05:00An Open Letter: When you take out the "Unity" in "Community"....<i>...You're left with "Comm" and that doesn't make sense. </i><br />
<i>But unfortunately, someone took the "unity" out of community, and it's left me upset, hurt, and fearful. This post could get me into trouble, but to be honest, if I don't write it, I could say these things out loud and it would be far worse. So this is my open letter. <b>(Disclaimer: Please don't consider this a direct call-out. Consider it an observation from the most observational person you know.)</b> </i><br />
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Dear...well, everyone,<br />
Happy Tuesday and Merry Christmas! I hope your shopping is "wrapping" up and you're getting ready to spend time with family! The last week has been a good one for me. I got to see someone I love portray a very hard role onstage! My boyfriend was cast as George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life" and it was so amazing to see him in his first lead! We all know he's talented but this brought it to a whole new level. I'm so proud of him, and the rest of the cast was also really good. But to be fair, I'm a little biased.<br />
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What also impressed me about this production was the lack of people who I know love my boyfriend who weren't at the show. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I'm taking it personally. Guilt trip: You missed a fantastic show, and I sincerely hope you're sad about that. In my clearly non-professional opinion, nothing about this show was unbalanced, or lacking, which is highly impressive.<br />
<br />
A Few Questions: #1-Did you not see the show because you HATE feel-good plays? If yes, then you're excused. I don't understand it, but you're excused just the same. #2-Did you not see the show because someone did you dirty? If your answer is yes keep reading. If it's no, I'm giving you the chance to jump ship now.<br />
<br />
Over the last few months, I've noticed a considerable amount of tension between adults. I'm just a kid, but nothing gets by kids very easily. There's been disrespect among people in the same profession who claim to be working towards the same goal: bringing people together in the name of theatre. Which, I personally think is an AMAZING thing. Now, I know there are a lot of things I don't know, or won't understand, and frankly, I don't care to know them or understand them. But I do care about people, and that's something that, to me, is far more valuable then ticket sales.<br />
Theatre can't exist without people. But people won't come to the theatre if their expectations aren't met and superseded pre-production, during production, and as the cast is giving their final bow. I know of people who have quit theatre altogether because someone who was in a position of power said something that rubbed them the wrong way. As someone who wants to make a career out of theatre, I say, not cool, man. Not cool.<br />
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There's nothing more discouraging to me, a petite kid with big dreams, than hearing and seeing that there is no support or respect for fellow theatre practitioners.<br />I'm not suggesting that we all have to sit around a campfire, hold hands and sing "You'll Never Walk Alone," but as much as I LOATHE that song, I think the reminder in there is vital. We are never alone, and in theatre, there should be a whole different realm of support. If you love theatre, and truly want to bring it to the masses, causing dissonance within your company should NEVER be an option.<br />
<br />
I honestly don't want to live or work in a world of theatre where I will someday have to tell my children that I ended my career because sometimes people don't play nice with others. I want to lead a life that my kids can look at and say, "Wow..she used everything for God's glory, and didn't have to sell out to be happy."<br />
I want to promote the performing arts for all kids of younger generations, and I have a hard time doing that if I know deep down that there are issues that make me uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
So this year, my Christmas prayer is that all issues get sorted out in a professional and friendly manner in this new year. I want my friends and I to feel free to travel between venues and companies without feeling like we're betraying one another. I pray that we can all put the "unity" back into "Community Theatre."<br />
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God Bless, and Merry Christmas!<br />
Love,<br />
-S.Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-11393574822227270612013-10-18T14:02:00.001-04:002013-10-18T16:16:13.358-04:00Year 25: What I've learned so far.The first few days of being 25 were kind of eventful! I made a new friend in the coffee shop that I go to every morning before work. She complimented me on my scarf, and then I saw she had been reading a Bible, so I stopped her and we chatted, introduced ourselves, and discovered we live on the same street! Her name is Sarah and she's a church planter. Unfortunately, I've been swamped with "Spamalot" (more on that later), so we haven't been able to hang out. Hopefully soon; I'm really encouraged that God put us on each others' pathways!<br />
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Some of you may think "25 is just a number, you're not old yet, Star!" But I assure you, I feel old already. I was very sick for a week before my birthday, and by some miracle I was fully recovered for the day itself. I hadn't been eating because I was having extreme abdominal pain and back spasms. I slept for about three days straight. MedExpress was unhelpful, and my parents and sister even came up to be with me. I also had a really bad cold while all of this was happening. There were some dark moments during that week; but I'm so glad that even though my parents were able to come to my aid, Lando was also there by my side. I guess having a tv in the room where I was sleeping was good...he watched football all day and I was able to rest knowing he was there in case I needed something. But that was when I was still 24. </div>
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Everyone asked how 25 felt, and i joked about when my first Quarter-Life Crisis would hit, but I had no idea the impending storm that was headed my way. </div>
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I returned to "Spamalot" rehearsals as the trusty Assistant Stage Manager. I was bummed to not actually be in the show, so assuming a role on the production staff was hard. It's amazing how slowly rehearsals go when you're sitting at a table just following along in a script. It's weird, actually. I would compulsively check my phone only to see that ten minutes had gone by. </div>
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The thing about this show is that the cast is amazingly talented. I had goosebumps just watching them rehearse. And now that we've opened the show, my goosebumps haven't subsided. But what happened during tech week solidified my calling and choice to be onstage. </div>
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I missed our first tech rehearsal. It was homecoming weekend at Penn Sate and I worked from 10-6 on Saturday. Someone was able to cover for me in tech, and take notes, but once I received them, I freaked out. The next day, I called the stage manager and we talked for an hour about the notes and the backstage choreography. She was a whole state away for a wedding, and then I was late for rehearsal. Cue downward spiral. </div>
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Long story short, there was a lot of crying. Also a panic attack. Those are scary, by the way. Especially when you're in front of people who are mostly strangers who don't know a thing about you other than the fact that you've been at rehearsals for this show. I left the building. I caused a halt in rehearsal. Finally, I calmed down long enough to breathe but I still couldn't stop crying. I was shaking and trying to fix everything all at once. (That's my tragic flaw: I'm a fixer.) Kat, the choreographer, who is also a mom, came backstage and talked me down. She reminded me that I just had to do one thing at a time. I apologized profusely to everyone, and ended the day mostly embarrassed. </div>
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I made huge mistakes along the way. Don't get the wrong idea when you read this, but I generally don't make huge mistakes in the theatre. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but never in my entire performing arts career (since I was 4), have I ever caused a rehearsal to stop functioning. Not even when my best friend and I fought while she stage managed my senior show. We barely spoke during rehearsals, but we always plowed through. To not actually be in a show, and then hold up the actors is a big deal to me, and I've realized that it's because I'm an actor first, kind of a director second, and never, ever a crew member. I would have been mortified if I had been in their place and saw that the ASM was having a nervous breakdown. Like, "who is this chick, and why is she dying right now??" I purposely didn't make it a big deal that I had never been an ASM before until that day. It was apparent that I had no idea what was going on, so I just owned up to that fact. I'm not sure if that caused more sympathy for me, or more strange looks. Either way, it was the truth. And I told myself that I shouldn't be ashamed about it. But I quickly learned that I shouldn't expect to be perfect right out of the gate, and that it's ok to ask for help. Especially in the theatre. Especially when you want to make a career out of it. </div>
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We opened last night, and I'm very happy to say that things went smoothly. There were a few moments where I was just praying that we would get some stuff in place on time. At one point I almost crossed myself (seriously, I do that in moments where I can't find the words to thank God out rightly), and I looked up and saw my crew guy Tony crossing himself abut the same situation. It's nice to have someone backstage who gets me when it comes to Jesus and matters of faith. Especially in theatre. Especially when you feel like you're drowning in the theatre.</div>
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The night before, Tony reminded me that God was in control and that was all I needed to hear. There was nothing I else I could do last night during the curtain speech except get on my knees on that dirty stage floor and pray the prayer I always say right before going on. (Or in this instance, cuing the curtain.) "It's out of my hands God. I hand the theatre, the audience and the actors over to you." And, as usual, He followed through. My few moments of panic were replaced with a calm of "do everything slowly." I'm not sure how I got through the show without physically hurting myself, but somehow, I escaped unscathed. (This is rare considering I've hurt myself on the props or set during every dress rehearsal we had for this show.) </div>
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I also want to give a shout out to one of my best friends, Lauren, who is on crew for "Assassins" at Ephrata Performing Arts Center right now. She's also an actress doing crew for the first time, and we've been texting about our experiences. I'm glad for the opportunity to bond with her over this whole situation. Everyone go see "Assassins!" </div>
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<b>I know what you're all wondering: "So, Star, would you ever do it again?" </b></div>
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Short answer: no. </div>
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Long answer: I'm so grateful to Amber for having extreme and crazy faith in me that I could do this, and I'm so glad that Year 25 started so far out of my comfort zone that I couldn't even see it. But this is not what I'm called to do. There is a certain personality type that is perfect for the position of ASM, and I'm not that type. The biggest lesson I've learned through al of this is that everyone has their talents, and just because you're a "theatre person" doesn't mean you can assume that everything you do will be 100% right away when you're in that atmosphere.</div>
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I've never been the type of actress to snub crew people (most of my friends have a tech emphasis and an acting emphasis), but this experience has given me a new respect for the curtain pullers, and backstage staff. But I'm ready to change out of my all black clothes, and assume a more colorful role. It's been too long, and I have a feeling that after this, my life and positions in the theatre has no where to go but up! </div>
Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-28644249826144498742013-09-24T12:04:00.000-04:002013-09-24T12:04:57.182-04:00A Year of Living Dangerously (Different)<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>I'm turning 25 next week. </b></div>
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I'm feeling a lot of mixed emotions about this, but more immediately, I need your help.<br />
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As Year Twenty-Five approaches, I've decided to do "A Year of Living Dangerously (Different)." Everyday from October 3, 2013 until October 3, 2014, I will try something new or different, and then write a short blog response about it. I'm not planning anything crazy like jumping out of an airplane, but I'd love to travel, try new food, and be kinder to strangers.<br />
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So, I'm looking for your suggestions. 365 things is a large list, and as much as I'd love to come up with all of them on my own...I can't. Comment here, on my Facebook, or my Twitter, or in person. If you think of anything, at any time, just shoot me a message!<br />
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Thanks!<br />
Shine Bright!<br />
-s.<br />
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<br />Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147438802107930325.post-51751135017450296032013-08-14T12:03:00.001-04:002013-08-14T12:12:48.418-04:00Guest Post: Top Ten Reasons Why I Am in Love with Pretty Little Liars and Not Ashamed to Admit It<i>Today's post is from my friend Abby. She just acquired her B.A. in English Literature, and likes mashed potato sandwiches. I admire Abby's ability to love and accept no matter where people are in life. When presented with the offer to guest post, she was stumped for awhile, but I am so proud of what she shares! Read on, and enjoy! Comments are always welcome! </i><br />
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<i>-S. </i></div>
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My
thirteen-year-old cousin introduced me to ABC Family’s <i>Pretty Little Liars </i>two months ago, and two full seasons later I am
hooked. When I tell people I love <i>PLL</i>,
they usually give me either an understanding “guilty pleasure” laugh or they
nod and raise their eyebrows, automatically reassessing their impression of me.
I admit – when people told me they love the show before I’d actually seen it, I
offered the exact same responses. I stand before you as a reformed believer
with a list of why, despite those negative reactions, I love this show and you
should too.</div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>1. </b></span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It’s a murder mystery.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> Something weird
is happening every episode. People break bones or die left and right. They’re
trying to find out who killed their friend while being mercilessly followed and
threatened by an anonymous person named “A.” Hello, need I say more?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">2. </span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The four main characters are women. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">This
is actually super rare. Think of how many TV shows feature primarily women. Now
think about most of those shows’ reputations. Yeah. Not only does </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">PLL </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">have a heavily female cast, but Spencer,
Aria, Hanna, and Emily – as well as almost every other female character – are</span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> multi-dimensional. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">You’d be amazed how
rarely we see female characters that aren’t all good or all bad. We still don’t
often see women who have flaws but are still good people with full
personalities. In other words, women who are fully human. The girls, as well as
their peers and mothers, make mistakes and even hurt people intentionally, yet
they also sacrifice themselves to protect others. What a relief it is to see
women with both strengths and weaknesses, who are not wholly perfect or wholly
imperfect.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>3.</b> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">They’re not only women – these four characters
are <i>teenage girls.</i> </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">One of the
most hated demographics in America. Everything teen girls like, the rest of the
country hates – Justin Bieber, </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Twilight,</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
even Uggs and leggings. The fact that teen girls are the main characters
without also being the butt of a national joke about the way they talk, act,
dress, and spend their time is huge in and of itself. But </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">PLL </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">also gives these teens so much power. Completely deserved, I
might argue. Think about it – how many people do you know that hate </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Twilight </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">passionately? A lot? Doesn’t
matter. Teenage girls helped the films alone make </span><a href="http://www.statisticbrain.com/total-twilight-franchise-sales-revenue/" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>more than five billion dollars</i></a><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">. </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">And if it weren’t for teenage girls,
Justin Bieber would still be some nobody freezing his butt off while making
YouTube videos in Canada. Teenage girls have the power to rocket someone from
anonymity to stardom, and that is </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">terrifying.</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
Imagine what they could do if we let them make the kind of decisions they are capable
of.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>4.</b> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The girls are the primary actors. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">By
that I mean they are the ones facilitating the action. Their decisions propel
the storyline. They’re the ones finding clues, solving mysteries, uncovering
secrets and following shady characters. They use their intelligence and
resources to progress in discovering who killed their friend Alison. Say what
you want about their many agape facial expressions – that is pretty badass.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>5. </b></span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>PLL </i>doesn’t
avoid violence. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The girls’ lives are often in serious danger. The main
anonymous aggressor, “A,” doesn’t hold back his/her punches because he/she is
after young girls. But that still doesn’t stop the girls from saving themselves
and their loved ones over and over.</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>6. </b></span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It represents LGBT characters fairly and
equally. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Emily, one of the main characters, comes out of the closet in the
first season and the show chronicles her journey with herself, her parents, her
peers, and her love interests. She’s even shown in romantic scenes with her
girlfriends just like the other girls are with their boyfriends. However:</span></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">7. Their love lives are not the primary focus.</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
Sure, they have boyfriends (and girlfriends), but their purpose and airtime is
not consumed by romance. In fact, most of the times relationships are discussed
heavily are when the problem is how to keep their loved ones safe from “A.” Yet
at the same time, the show gives them freedom to worry about little things like
what to give their partner for their birthday. It makes sense – if there’s a
murderer on the loose, is this really the time to be obsessed with
Ezra/Caleb/Toby/Maya? This is not to say the girls stand alone – in fact:</span></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">8. The central relationship in the show is not
romantic, but platonic: the four girls’ friendship. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">That’s the relationship
tying the whole show together. And what an amazing friendship they have. So
often we see depictions of girl friendships as full of cattiness, emotional
manipulation, and competition. </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">PLL </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">reminds
us that four teenage girls are capable of having a strong friendship, one in
which the girls are honest, supportive, and not afraid to openly need one
another. I wish I had seen this in high school.</span></div>
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<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">9. It tackles the digital surveillance era
head-on. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">We live in a time of the private becoming public. We put our lives
online. Politicians’ pasts and presents are under constant scrutiny, and so are
ours. In </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">PLL,</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> the girls are literally
being watched 24/7. “A” sends them texts offering snarky comments on their
every move, threatening to expose them or the people close to them. Sound
familiar? In a time when it seems like we are already exposing everything, it
calls to attention the crucial difference between exposing ourselves and being
exposed without our consent. Appropriate, no?</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>10. </b></span><span style="font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The name of the show itself deceives us. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">My
mom listened to me rattle off this whole list of why </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">PLL </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">is such a great show before saying, “Alright, if it’s such a
good show, why does it have such a stupid and belittling title?” I thought
about it, and I think </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Pretty Little Liars
</i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">speaks for itself. The title seems dismissive, weak, and petty – just as
the characters, and all teenage girls, are dismissed. And just like we discover
on the show, casting aside a story or entire group of people because they sound
inconsequential is a mistake. So the harmless title </span><i style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Pretty Little Liars </i><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">is itself a lie. I’m not trying to get you to
like this show, but I do hate when people write it off as stupid and not worth
their time. Don’t let yourself be deceived. What could you be missing?</span></div>
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If you want to read more on this, see the article that
helped shape a lot of my own impressions, or get more info on the show, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/morgan-glennon/the-feminism-of-pretty-li_b_1351026.html">check
this out</a>.<b><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Starleisha G.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05059207313245496447noreply@blogger.com2