"Year One: We Made It." or "An open letter to Lando."

Dear Lando,

Phew. We did it. I have so many emotions today, but the strangest one is probably the feeling of relief. Relief that we accomplished something. We accomplished staying together...and while some people would question the validity and authenticity of our relationship based on that statement, we know something that we've only shared with those closest to us: it has been a struggle that goes far beyond the distance aspect.

If I had a dollar for every time I doubted myself in this partnership...I'd have a lot of dollars. If I had a dollar for every time I doubted you in this partnership, I'd have zero dollars. Your tenacity and optimism is to be praised and admired. I wish I had a tenth of that...but then I realize that I have 100% of you for the days when when I'm feeling 0%.

A few nights ago, I was low. Low on hope, energy, and faith. My emotional storage was at it's brink, and there you were. You lifted me out of the darkness, as you've done so many times over the last 12 months. You emptied me of my hurt, and filled me with the knowledge that you support me, even if that means eventually enduring distance again. You believed in me...but more importantly, you believed in us. 

When we first embarked on this journey, we were strangers. I had always sworn I would never date someone until they were my friend for at least a year. I sat on the couch the night we made it official, and wondered what had happened. This wasn't a part of the plan. I only wanted a showmance. But God laughed and said, "Just kidding. But the waters will be rough. I have given you both enough strength to deal with the situation at hand."

Sometimes I wish our circumstance had been different. But then I remember how much we've grown as individuals and as a couple, even though we're miles apart. I think that's the reason 91.3 miles are between us. I needed to learn about myself. I needed to learn about you over a period of time. I always forget what foods you hate, but I'm sure that will come in time.

You have this quality about you that exudes natural friendship, and support. I challenge one person to name a time that they've felt abandoned or betrayed by you. I'm going to guess no one would be able to say that about you. You're Lando. In the words of Mo: "Errybody know Lando."
Your reputation precedes you, and is a constant reminder to me of the impact you have had on other peoples' lives. You inspire me to be the best version of myself, because in the end, that's all anybody can ask of me.

You know that you are not my better or other half, and I am not your better or other half. God created us as two fully formed beings. It just so happens that when we came together, we were able to supplement each others' already fully formed personalities. I think we balance each other out quite nicely: you help me come back down to reality, and I help pull you into a world that (at this moment) only exists only in our shared dream-space.  But it's more than just fantasies of big houses with multiple man/woman caves. It runs much deeper, but that, I think, I'll leave between us.

You aren't my better half, but you help me to be a better person. And that speaks volumes. Not only to you, but to what God has done in each of us during this journey. He's transformed our lives, and we both are beginning to see a clearer plan that he's laid out for us. Will it be easy? No. We're miles away, and it's going to take a lot of prayer and discernment and mentoring on both of our parts. But I have no doubt that more we delight in him, the more he will show us blessings and favor. (That's so preachy of me...but true!)

I look forward to growing with you, and seeing where this journey is going to take us next.

Love,
Starleisha.

(http://www.etsy.com/listing/119712173/to-love-another-person-is-to-see-the)

1 year later: How it all happened.

I'm so excited to share this story with you all. It's the nitty gritty truth of the day I met my boyfriend, and countless other people who I consider friends. Everything I say here he already knows, so don't feel upset or shocked. Also, if you know me, you won't be too surprised. 

It was hot. Too hot. I woke up sweating, and with a ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. "Please dear God, let today go well. I don't know what I'll do if I don't make friends..."  I honestly don't know how many times I prayed that prayer. I attempted to eat some Kashi Heart Health cereal, but it stuck to the roof of my mouth, and, honestly, it's gross. I let it get soggy as I dialed my home number. My mom picked up, and as usual sang a cheerful "Hiya!" 

I can't do this. I can't go to this meet and greet. 
You have to. You'll be fine! Did you eat breakfast?
Not really. I can't eat. I'm so nervous. What if they don't like me??
You have nothing to be nervous about! Just be your sweet self, and you'll make friends!
But what if I don't??
You will.  

We hung up, and I laid down on the bed,  listening to the hum of the air conditioner, and pretending to watch "Gilmore Girls" on the television.
Finally, I forced myself to shower and get ready. I was moving at a snail's pace, occasionally throwing myself on the floor and forcing some deep breaths. I showered, pulled on a super cute outfit, fixed my hair, and forced my contacts to be comfortable in my eyes. I checked and double checked the address, studied the GoogleMap and figured out exactly where I was going. I can walk there! All I have to do is....cross 4 lanes of traffic. No big deal. YOLO. I filled a cooler bag full of soda, chips and hummus (theatre people LOVE hummus), filled my water bottle, and headed out the door. 
Before I was out of the neighborhood, I sent this picture to my best guy friend and my sister: 

                                    Off to the meet and greet! Hopefully I make friends!! 

15 minutes later, I got to the address. I took a deep breath, wiped the sweat off my arms, walked in, up the steps and saw a living room full of pre-teens. ughhh. children. I rounded the corner and saw adults in the kitchen. Let's do this. I smiled big, and began to introduce myself. So many names. So many people. I gave my basics: my school, my hometown, how my family ended up owning a house in this town, etc...There were some girls around my age there, but I wasn't sure what I'd talk about since these people were like...actually musical theatre people. Which I decidedly was not. So I just decided to eat, because I'm good at that. 
I chatted with a woman named Margaret, and I mentioned going to school at MC. She had sent her son to jazz camp there, and as we were remarking on the beauty of the campus, a male voice said behind me: 
"I know someone who went to M.C."
 "Really?? Who??"
 "Emily H."
 "OHMYGOSH I love Emily H!!! She's the nicest!" 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the first conversation I ever had with my boyfriend. The second one came a few minutes later when I literally interrupted a conversation he and Amanda and Ellie were having about Sutton Foster. (In hindsight, that was really rude. I'm sorry guys. But also, I'm not sorry at all. ) 
The four of us moved to the deck and talked about life and theatre. This guy (I still wasn't sure of his name...it was something really weird, and I didn't want to get it wrong, so I avoided using it all together), mentioned that he had seen me walking to the party earlier. I laughed it off . "It's my workout for the day. No big deal." To be perfectly honest, I could tell this kid was kind of into me, but I couldn't wait to get home and back online to talk to this other guy I was obsessing over at the time. 

The younger kids came outside, so we decided it was time to move back indoors. We talked for a bit longer, and the two girls left, leaving me and this kid alone. He was fidgeting, and I was fighting off sleep. 
"Well, I should probably get going." He stood, and looked at me. "It was nice meeting you." 
This is the moment that still gets to me. He was leaving. He knew I had walked there. He was clearly interested in me, but he didn't offer me a ride home. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't upset. I almost asked him if he could give me a ride, but we were practically strangers, and I thought that would be weird. But obviously, his offering me a ride would have been perfectly normal! He left, and I left shortly after. 

I got home, called my mom and told her the good news, and updated my facebook status. I saw I had a friend request. I accepted. "Lan Dando...I'm like a million percent positive that wasn't that kid's name, and his picture is of a Seuss character and, oh look...he just wrote on my wall... Hey! It was really nice meeting you today! I look forward to working on "Seussical" with you. See you next week!" 
Um..ok. 

A week passed, and Dando....? Lan.....do? What WAS this kid's name?!, had been away at a conference. He finally came back, and we avoided each other. We only talked online, and then we wouldn't say anything during rehearsals. 

On July 15, 2012, I posted an article from RELEVANT Magazine called 10 Summer Date Ideas which is a list of fun things to do. He commented on the link and said he knew someone who would like to do "many of them" with me. 
I think we all know what happened next. 

For our first date, we went mini golfing, and got Creamery ice cream.11.25 months later, that's the only thing on that list that we've accomplished, but that leaves room for more fun things to do. 

It's important to note here that I had no intention of dating this guy. I told several of my friends that I just wanted to have a summer fling. I'd never had one before, and I was finally living on my own in a small city, and there was a guy who was interested. Goodbye to the days of wanting a long-term commitment, and hello showmance! 

God's hilarious, isn't He? 

As I look back over the last year, I'm thankful for all the friends I've made from my experience in Seussical, and through Lando. It's been a year of new friends of all different types. 
I've learned much more than I anticipated: Life as a fraternity girlfriend, maintaining patience during a long distance relationship, and loving someone no matter where they are in life. 
Have things been perfect? No. 
Have we almost called it quits? Multiple times, actually. 
Would I trade all of the valley moments for consistent mountaintop experiences? No. It's at the low points where we grow the most. 

So even though today is just the anniversary of when we first met, not started dating, I wanted to share the experience with you all, even though some of you were lucky enough to experience it with us. Special thanks to Rick G. for suggesting that Marcy call Lando and ask him to be in the show. Marcy, for listening to Rick.  Kat & Michael for hosting the meet and greet, and everyone else who saw the whole thing going in a great direction, and nurtured the relationship from day one. 

Lando says: "I just wanted to sincerely thank all of Star's new friends, my new friends, and and our mutual friends for your love, support, and prayers for the last year. We are so grateful to have you all in our lives." 

I second his sentiments, and would add that are both so excited to see what God has in store for our future,
and we are excited to have you by our sides. 
Onward with phase two!!  

Photo by Lois Abdelmalek