Thursday, November 20, 2014

14 Things Only Box Office Employees Understand (And things we wish we could nicely tell our patrons)

I love my job, I really do. The people I work with are great, I feel so privileged to come to a theatre everyday and have it be my job. But some days I seriously wonder if people know what my job is really like. It's not *just* selling tickets to events. It's so much more.

1. Just because you, our beloved patron, didn't see a ticket price listed (which is more than likely your error), does not mean the ticket is free. 

2.  Oh look, my ticketing system is freezing as I have 6 people standing in line.

3. I'm sorry it's really really reeeally not my fault that you got mixed information and are asking me too many questions that I can answer in just a few sentences. 

4. The phrase "We rent to anyone who needs a place to screen their film" means just that. 
No we do not have a political agenda for showing two sides to the same story.
No we do not have a political agenda for showing a film about fracking. 
No it's not our fault that your event isn't selling well. I'm seriously JUST the box office girl. 
(What I'm saying here is...please don't shoot the messenger. )

5. No we cannot make special deals with you if they aren't already in the system.

6. It is not our fault that tickets aren't available if you wait until the week before the show.

7.  And no, I can't "open any seats up" for you. You snooze, you lose.

8. Creeping into the caterer's kitchen to heat up your lunch. While there's a meeting going on. 

9. Being genuinely sweet to verklempt older patrons. (The phrase "Kill them with kindness" comes to mind. And then praying they don't actually fall over dead.) 

10. When the person on the phone is looking at the seating chart and tells you what they're seeing. And it's the exact same chart you're also looking at. 

11. Patron, (After seeing you as the only person at the counter): "I'm looking for someone who's in charge..." 

12. When you actually don't have the answer to their question and you have to find someone in charge. 

13. When people come in, talk, and don't actually order tickets. 

14. Remembering that things could be worse. Your day job is in your field, and thank goodness you're not folding tee shirts at a department store. 

(All images from imgur. Except for Anne Perkins and Leslie Knope. That one is from giphy.)