A Quick Update

Happy Monday, everyone! 

I'm wiped OUT from this weekend's XStream youth winter retreat. We had a great time at Pocono Plateau with two other local churches. The snow was gorgeous, the food was good, and a lot of great connections were made. Unfortunately around 5 AM Sunday, a nasty stomach bug befell one of the guy students. His fearless leader, who had been taking care of him, sent out a group text around 5 PM saying he had contracted it as well. Please say a prayer for David and Colin, and the rest of our team and students as a lot of us are sliding into midterms and can't really afford to get sick! 

While I'd love to take this time to talk about how amazing the weekend was, this post isn't about XStream. It is however, about my relationship with Lando.

In December, Lando and I decided that it was best that we postpone the wedding. I don't really remember a clear reason why, other than the obvious fact that something was "off." Several weeks and insane arguments later, I knew that something had to change. After seeking wise counsel, and a few awkward encounters, I decided it was time to end our relationship. It truly wasn't a mutual decision, even though we have both painted it that way out of respect for what happened. We have decided to focus on other separate life opportunities (note: There are several things I want to do that would have kept us apart for our first year of marriage, and no one wants to do that...), and focus on strengthening our relationships with God. We are trying this whole "let's be friends" thing, and we  most definitely appreciate the support from our family and friends. 

Yes, it's hard, and it sucks, and it has probably shocked the pants off of you, but honestly, God has already blessed this decision. He's gone before us and we have willingly followed his path. It doesn't completely make sense yet, but it will. 

We are both willing to talk about this, so please don't shy away because you're afraid of saying something "wrong." We are still Star and Lando, even though we aren't StarAndLando anymore. It'll be good. It's already good. We are resting in the truth that we have an entire lifetime ahead of us, even if it's not a lifetime we share as husband and wife. 

We love you all, and look forward to having you continue this journey with us in this new way. 

Peace and Blessings

-S. 

XStream Talking Points/Blog Post: Lies I Believed In High School

We're doing a dating series in XStream right now. And for those of you who have been keeping up with my life, you probably know that this is a strange topic for me right now. (For those of you who don't know, I'll be happy to talk about it privately over coffee, or via carrier pigeon.) This is the last week of our series, and we are splitting the guys and girls up for the Group Talk. The girls are going to be talking about body image/identifying our worth in Christ/confidence etc...and the boys will be talking about the lies of pornography. It's going to be a heavy night, but I'm praying it will be worth it. (I know it will be!)

I'm sharing tonight on the lie that I still have a tendency to give into: the lie that I'm "too much" or "too intimidating" or "too loud." When I was in middle school, I was the girl screaming at the lunch table over nothing. I talked loudly because I liked the attention. But sometimes it felt like I was losing the attention I desired because I was loud. My mom always told tells me that my voice carries. I'm just a loud talker. And it wasn't until I was in college that I realized that being a loud talker/being a great projector, isn't going to make or break my life. In fact, projecting well, as an actress, is actually one of the best things for your career.

In high school, I was always told, "be mysterious. Boys like girls with a little mystery." Even now as a 26 year old, I'm furrowing my brow at that. What the heck does that mean? I guess now it means "Don't lay out all of your personal baggage on the first date." But what does it mean to a 15 year old? To me, it translates to "Don't be too loud. Don't burp like one of the guys. Don't talk loudly about sports if you don't really know what you're saying." (Side note: last week at XStream, Juliandra and I asked the girls to write down what they thought they could do to become more "datable." 98% of them said "learn more about sports.")
 Anyway, I don't in anyway intend to downplay this bit of advice from my mother, but I wish I had known to ask for clarification. I would try to "be mysterious" around the boys I had crushes on...talking quieter, not really answering their questions, etc..., but that's not who I am. I'm outgoing, and vibrant, and when I think "mystery," when it comes to a character trait, I picture some girl hiding behind a thick Mark Twain (J.K. Rowling? Who is popular these days...?) novel, and wearing long skirts, and avoiding eye contact with all humans. And that's not a bad thing if that is your true personality! But I think for a long time, I tried to be something I wasn't when it came to having "mystery." I'm not the type of girl who has the time to have people hem and haw over what I like, or what I might be interested in doing on a Friday night. If you want to hang, if you want to get to know me, let's communicate about that. I will say, "Hey, my name is Star and I'm un-apologetically outgoing and I will tell you everything you need to know about being my casual acquaintance, or friend." I understand and respect that not everyone is wired like that (97% of my friends are introverts), BUT, I am truly of the belief that if you aren't being true to your personality, you are not living up to the person God created you to be. So if "being mysterious" is something you're good at, rock it! If being outgoing is something you're good at, rock it!

Either way: 

Never let anyone tell you you're too "this" or too "that" 

as if it makes or breaks your entire life. 

It doesn't define you now, or ever.

The lie that we are too much comes from a place of insecurity. But it doesn't need to be a hindrance when we realize that we are made in the Image of God and and grasp onto the idea that our identity is found in Christ only. No exceptions. 

You might ask what this means or what this looks like and, honestly, I don't know if I have an answer other than this that fits every single person: "Women must think rightly about being representatives of God made in His image, and fulfilling his purposes" (Matt Chandler, Beautiful Design). Each one of us is made with a purpose that is more than being the prettiest girl in the room, or the most talented, or the most mysterious, or outgoing. What matters is that we are here to do God's work...to live the life he has set before us. Younger girls might not realize it now, but each one of us is called to a higher purpose..whether that's going into ministry, being an actress, or being a professional athlete- God will use us to His glory.

Who you were created to be is already accepted by God. Don't worry about being accepted by others. Who you are in Christ is "enough." You are never too over-exuberant, or too mysterious.  

You are enough. Don't let anyone try to convince you that you need to change that.

It's true.

Happy Friday! 

Yikes, I'm terrible at blogging lately, and I truly apologize. Between my boyfriend graduating, random roadtrips around the state, and getting sick, I've been busy, and sleeping a lot! But I'm back, and today I wanted to talk about something scary: Feminism. 

When I was younger, all I knew about feminism was that in the 70s these women probably didn't wear bras, and opened car doors themselves and declared their independence from the tyrant that is the male species. Had I ever met a feminist? No, of course not, don't be silly. I grew up in the church, and God forbid women be too independent. (To be fair, a lot of the women in my church were very independent of their husbands. but it's the principle of the matter.) 

Before I got to college, I had a friend at my church who went to the same school that I was headed to. She was a few years older than me so I was able to witness how MC affected her growth as a Christian and as a woman. Before she had gone to school, she said "I don't want to end up like the crazy feminists." Three years later, guess what she was: A semi-crazy feminist with alternate views on Christianity. I couldn't believe it. Not only did I feel completely left in the dust and betrayed, I was TERRIFIED that I would go to MC and end up like her. I decided to choose a major that wouldn't involve a lot of theology and social science classes: Music Education. And we all saw how that worked out. (I was in the program for HALF of a semester. Hated it. Different story.) I was determined to avoid my theology class for as long as humanly possible, and I finally realized that I wouldn't be taking too many classes that would force me to have an introspective look at being a female in a "male dominated world." So, in general, I think it's safe to say that I made it out of college fairly unscathed, and with some influences that showed me what true female independence was. 

Last year, I discovered Good Women Project, and I was blown away at this community of Christian women who struggled with sexual issues, dating, abuse, and feminism. At that point in my life I was focused more on the dating/who-should-I-marry articles, but the founder of GWP, Lauren Dubinsky Tweeted something that literally changed my life:

Feminism is what gives me the right  to be the woman that I am,  not the woman that other feminists wish I was or expect me to be. I sat and stared at my screen for a few seconds processing what I had just read. I broke it down into the two obvious parts: 1: "Feminism is what gives me the right to be the woman that I am."  I don't need to be the "type" of feminist who looks at her boyfriend and says "make your own damn sandwich," because that's not who I am as a person. If my boyfriend wants a sandwich, we're going to make that thing together. Because God made me, me Starleisha, as a collaborative being. I don't feel objectified when I'm hanging out in the kitchen, I actually feel empowered. I'm a good cook and I'm going to show off those skills. My boyfriend laid it out when we first started dating that he would NEVER expect me to make him food. That's fine. I'm ok with that. But I will offer, and that's cool too. And  that's what works for me. 2:"Not the woman that other feminists wish I was or expect me to be."  Also pretty simple. Online, I've encountered tweets that imply that people do feminism wrong. How is it doing it wrong if statement number 1. is the very core basis of feminism? Even though I know this to be true, I still struggle with it. Sometimes I think "Ugh, I can't be a good feminist because I still believe that the husband, to some extent, should be the spiritual leader of the household." But those negative thoughts just take up room in my brain where positive thoughts should be! If there are women out there who look at me and think I'm doing feminism wrong because I still like it when my boyfriend opens my car door, to them I say: Your lack of support for me is actually wrong. As Taylor Swift so famously quoted the even cooler Katie Couric: "There's a special place in Hell for women who don't help other women." For this topic, that's a bit of an extreme example, but I think it warrants some discussion. If feminists are to be about women's rights, we need to help each other, not put each other into this place of shame, and make each other feel that we can't express our views. I can be an independent woman and still enjoy it when my boyfriend sends me surprise flowers "just because." You can be independent and still not want anything extra from your boyfriend because you feel like it detracts from your feminist battle-cry. And that's ok! But let's not berate one another. For the longest time, I denied it. I denied even the teeniest ounce of feminism in me. I would even blatantly say anti-feminist statements on Twitter to try to cover up my unsure feelings about the whole subject. Some of it stemmed from the fear that I would someday emasculate the man I seriously dated. And you know, in the 90s, that might have been a legit fear, but there are so many men who are pro-feminist in the world today. I see my boyfriend as his own man, and, really, he's kind of pro-feminist too. Within our relationship, we've leveled the playing field. He cooks, I cook. I'm paying for my own movie today. No big deal. It doesn't mean that he's less of a man, and it doesn't mean I'm castrating his wallet. (Pause for that mental image...ok, continue). It's really ok. It's how we do things, and it works for us. So my Star-Based Feminism pep-talk to myself goes a little something like this: Enjoying being treated like a lady doesn't lessen my value as a woman. I can be independent and still enjoy hanging out in the kitchen.  The playing field is even, and my boyfriend and I should have an open dialogue to keep it that way. I am me, and you are you. Let's help each other. Let's support the different views of feminism. After all...isn't that what it's about?

Long Distance:A Short Piece

If you had told me in May of 2012 that a year later I would be dating someone who was two hours away, I would have laughed in your face. I would have said, "Nah, dude. Just going to have a showmance this summer. Nothing more, nothing less." Fast forward to July. God was like "Just kidding, here, try this instead..." There was a boy, and we spent the month just taking walks, talking, going to and from rehearsals together, and just having fun.Then August came, and that's when I ended up 180 miles away from him, back in my small town. It was weird. It wasn't like it was the end of the semester, and you pinky-swore to be BFFs forever. This was our first real, grown-up relationship. And we would not be together everyday. 

Being in a long distance relationship is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's not tragic like some romance movies make it out to be (Example: "The Notebook." 365 hand-written letters all confiscated by a mother? Ain't nobody got time for dat!), and it's not as tumultuous and promiscuous as "Like Crazy": The movie with that sweet young couple who was separated by the Atlantic Ocean and mountains of Immigrant visa paperwork. (It also has really great poetic moments, and good picture-quotes: see below).
No, we are fortunate enough to have supportive parents who make sure we get to see each other, we are in the same state, and both of us are legal citizens of the U.S., so deportation is not a threat. (Side note: for those of you who don't know, my sister lives 15 minutes from my boyfriend. Convenient, right?)

In spite of all the positives, our long distance relationship, like any non-scripted relationship, has been anything but glamorous. 

The last 9 months of my life have been un-matchable. Peppered with so many emotions, a lot of prayer and growth on both his part and mine, and within our relationship. I think some of the challenges we are facing in our separate lives, (I'm trying to finish school, he's actively job-searching), would be overblown if we were together all of the time. Being apart has let us learn about ourselves away from another person. I'm not attached to his hip or relying on him for every little thing. I've learned how to read him even over Facebook Chat. I've figured out when to think before I speak as to not overwhelm him, (this is a shock to my system...I don't know how to handle it sometimes), and I'm getting better at adjusting to his busy schedule even though I have far less to do than he does. Seriously, I have functioned without him for 24 years, I can survive being two hours apart. 
Is it rewarding? Absolutely. Honestly, I am learning a lot about life and dedication and this has been one big exercise in patience for me. 
Is it sometimes awful? Yes. Some days it feels like this: 

Is it frustrating to see other people upset and missing their significant other even though they're a short distance apart? Incredibly. It baffles me. At first, being apart was just frustrating. But now, I try really hard not to whine about the distance. But other people do complain and it gets annoying. It got to the point where I created a meme about it and laughed for a long time.
At the same time, I have mad respect for military families who do this multiple times a year. They are the true champions of long distance relationships, and I admire them a lot! 

It was right after the meme that I was discussing this with a friend. He reminded me that the people who tend to complain about their relationships aren't in them for very long. It reminded me that I need to be thankful for what I'm learning while I'm in this season of my life, instead of wishing away the days that I do have. I have a feeling that kind of contentment will come in handy once we are ready to be geographically together. 

There's not real formula to successfully surviving long distance relationship; Trust me, I've looked.
My advice/reminders/pep-talk to myself and to anyone in a long distance relationship is simply this: 

 I refuse to complain about the distance aspect of my relationship. It's been 9 months. It is what it is. It's not perfect, but it's handled. With maturity comes acceptance. And the willingness to persevere and push through the sludge&distance and have faith in your relationship. Trust God, trust each other, trust yourself, and trust the "us" and the "we" and the "together" even if you're apart.

Cats vs. Men: The Great Debate

Cats or men? I like men. I also like cats. But being a cat lady was never appealing to me. Even when I was single. These thoughts are exclusively my own. Comments/discussion is always welcome. 

Lately, (always), I've been seeing girls talking on social media about being alone, being betrayed by a guy or becoming a cat lady in the future (most recently 15 Reasons Why Having A Cat Is Better Than Having A Boyfriend). Honestly, I think that is silly.
Now, I know everyone has a story, and I love and respect that so much! I love that there are girls who are focusing on their careers, or other pursuits, and feel that single is the way to go. Relationships aren't for everyone, and value and self-worth don't come from being linked with someone. I love reading dialogue about being your own person, and how the person you will marry won't "complete" you or be your "other half." It's so cool to see so much positive growth and learning in single ladies that I love and/or look up to.

That being said: I hate feeling guilty about being in a relationship. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Well Star, it sounds like you should examine your blah blah blah priorities, blah blah blah, guilt complex, blah blah blah." 
I see that attempt at rationalization and I raise you this: I am one of the least guilt-ridden people you will ever meet. So, it's not that. I just...feel bad that not everyone is happy. Once again, I know true happiness doesn't come from being with someone in a romantic relationship. But I see so much hopelessness from a lot of single girls, and in my gut I just feel...guilty. I never would have guessed that this type of guilt existed in relationships. So, a note to the single girls, you aren't the only ones affected by your feelings when you are single.
Anyway.
I love cats! But when I see articles like the one above, (especially #9: my boyfriend is the LEAST distracting person in the world), I just want to say, "I have a boyfriend, but I love Cricket and Tater-Tot too, and they're my favorite cats EVER!"
I don't say it enough, but I appreciate and I'm incredibly proud of the man I'm in a relationship with. He accepts me for who I am, and we balance each other out very well. He's a hard worker, incredibly motivated, and graduating with dual degrees this weekend. Pretty sure Tater-Tot is just good at swatting at my behind when I walk through the door. Score 1 for the boyfriend.
I don't know...maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of the cat thing...

I'm pretty sure I was doing the whole "thank GOD I'm single" thing about 14 months ago, so I'm not faulting these girls at all. I just wish there was a way to say: "Hey...being in a relationship is not totally bad, so let's just try to avoid generalizing and stereotyping." I would never, ever consciously post something on social media that said "Girls who are single are that way because [fill in the blank]" or something to purposefully bring up negative feelings in others. And if I do, please tell me. {Note: I blog about my relationship because it's a part of my life. I really try not to brag. I promise.}

I don't value someone based on their relationship status. I care about them as people, right where they are, no matter what's going on, and I support them in the expression of their feelings. But I think that we do ourselves a great disservice by assuming how our lives are going to end up. Positive thinking yields positive results. Negative thinking yields negative results. Whether you believe it or not, God and you have great control over what path(s) your life will take.
Additionally, out of all the threats I see about being cat ladies, I see a lot of the same girls post about good, healthy relationships, whether they are romantic relationships or deep friendships. The good news is, you can have it both ways!
Cats are great, and so are real human relationships. In fact, you can learn a lot about humans from cats (and/or most animals), and vice versa.  No matter how furry, annoying, or distracting, neither should be neglected. They should be nurtured, and cared for, and loved unconditionally. Right where they are: if they're on the couch next to you watching ESPN, or sitting on your desk giving you an adorable face.
I'll let you decide which is the cat and which is the boy.

PS: Here are pictures of my cats. Cricket is the grey one, and Tator-Tot  They are cute.

Thursday Thoughts: Sex and Best Friends.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks. I wasn't sure If I wanted to post it, but after an interesting turn of events, I've decided it would be unhealthy to let it sit for any longer. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject down in the comments, but please keep things positive! -s.

Brief background: I grew up in a Christian home, but my parents weren't very "strict" or anything like that. They had three  older daughters, so by the time they acquired me, they knew what they were doing. I think the biggest thing they were really careful about was television/music. I remember when I finally got my N*SYNC CD. I was so happy, I could have cried. As with any child, the rules were adjusted as I grew up.
In seventh grade, I met one of my best friends. We'll call her R. We did everything together through middle school and high school. We formed a friend group with three other girls, and we were basically inseparable. Sleepovers, two proms, lots of fights, and even more boys.
When I got to Christian college I met extremely sheltered kids and I realized I was much more worldly than some others.While I was there, I made lots of friends. The friends I made my first year as a theatre major include some girls I still consider to be my best friends. And we've covered so many topics about sexuality: what it looks like as a Christian woman, what it looks like within marriage, hooking up, slut-shaming, virgin-shaming...the list goes on and on.

Out of the four girls I was close friends with in high school, I've only ever talked with one of them about sex. And that was after we had been in college for a year. 

I was reflecting on this the other day and it floored me. I call R one of my best friends, yet I don't feel like I can talk to her about this topic. Now that we are in our twenties and we both have serious boyfriends, you would think the conversation would have happened by now...but it hasn't. The opportunity hasn't even arisen. Could I have brought it up out of the blue? Sure, but it would have felt awkward.

I feel as if I have dropped some of the responsibility of being a true friend. 

Friends are supposed to tell each other things, and go to each other with questions, or conversation-starting topics. "Best Friends" are supposed to tell each other everything,* including if there's any "gettin' busy" of any kind currently or in the future. 

*(All of this should be discussed with a respect to the significant other, of course). 

I don't know why I haven't talked to my friend about this. We've known each other for twelve years, and I've barely made a "that's what she said" joke around her. 

My question for you is this: Why is it so easy to talk about the deep topics with friends from college, or friends we consider "older"? Do you find subjects such as hooking-up or sex easy or hard to talk about with friends you didn't meet on a college campus? Why or why not? 

I don't have the answers, and I'm sure that there isn't a right or wrong answer. Sex is a part of life, and eventually you or one of your friends is going to be getting married...why wait until then to have "the talk" with them?
 Here's some motivation for all of us: just do it. 

Shine Bright

-s. 

An Open Letter to the Ladies: Regarding March Madness

Happy Monday! This is post 1 of 2 today. This is not the sequel to yesterday's post, but I promise I will get to that later. This is just something I wanted to write. An open letter to any ladies who feel that March Madness is just...Madness. Grab some coffee/tea/hot chocolate, and settle in. And please remember, that these are just suggestions. 

Dear Ladies, 

Hi! I hope you all are enjoying (or viciously hating) your snowy day. I know I'm loving mine. My morning probably mirrors your own: Had some cereal, I checked my email and laughed at a spam message, said good morning to my boyfriend, checked Twitter, scrolled Facebook, bragged about my college's men's and women's soccer teams, turned on SportsCenter and checked my NCAA Tourney Bracket....wait...you didn't do those last three things?

Oh...well, It's March, the month of Madness. The month of brackets, Tournament Challenge and office pools. The month were men go crazy because it's that awkward middle time between the Superbowl and Opening Day. The selection of sports in this downtime is limited. Hockey, NASCAR (ha!), NBA, random golf classics, and College Basketball. It's like the downtime some women are suffering right now between "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette." Our choices are American Idol, which is terrible this year, and The Voice which we only watch for Adam Levine (come on, you know it's true.) 

As someone who has always loved sports, but also enjoys reality dating shows, I'm here for you. I'm here to provide support, answer questions, and give some practical advice on how to survive. 
Here are a few tips: 
Ask questions. If you have no idea why Florida Gulf Coast has ruined so many brackets this tournament (don't ask me, I don't want to talk about it), ask. Your boyfriend will have an earful to say about that. Trust me. Ask why Duke has made it this far in the tournament when several people didn't have them making it out of the second round. You can take these questions and use them verbatim...I don't mind. 
Fake an interest. Faking isn't always bad. But faking an interest in March Madness is not for the faint of heart. If you really hate basketball to the point of wanting to jump off a cliff, don't try this. But if you can tolerate it, I suggest you pick a team (Florida Gulf Coast and Louisville are good options), and throw whatever sliver of energy you have into supporting that team. It is also fun to cheer for whatever team is playing against the team your boyfriend is supporting. Pay close attention to the commentators, listen for a last name, and then just cheer that player on to victory! Remember the saying: "Fake your way to the top, and it'll feel real coming back down."
Give it the old college try. If you're indifferent, but open to watching a game, give it a shot. Try it by yourself first. There are four games on Thursday, and four games on Friday. If you find it interesting, tell your guy you're ready for the next step: watching a game with him. If you decide to do that, refer to my last two tips. Additionally, watching a few minutes of SportsCenter (on ESPN) never hurt anyone. You might be surprised at what you learn. Also, some of the players and young coaches in this tournament are kind of cute. So, that can always be your motivation. But we can keep that between us. 

There is also the option of just cuddling up with a book or browsing Pinterest while he watches the game. Smile and nod a lot when he says "yes!!" (That counts as trying AND faking an interest!) 

And if you hate sports with a fiery passion, disregard this. This is just the opinion/advice of a girl who has spent over 24 hours watching basketball in the last four days. So, what do I know, right? 
Anyway, I hope you all survive with whatever method you think is best! Have a lovely day!

Shine Bright, 
-s.

PS: don't let the title "March Madness" deceive you...it's not over until April 8th. 

Wednesday Funday! -A list!

Happy Wednesday!
I wanted to do something different, and give you guys another glimpse into my life. Last year I wrote a short post called "Things You're Automatically Good At When You Have A Boyfriend." Because, apparently there's some magical thing that happens when you start dating a guy that enhances your awesomeness and abilities. Well, I have a boyfriend, and that magical knowing thing is a load of hooey.

Here is a list of things I'm still not very good at, and/or I'm working on learning

1. How to cut guys hair. This one time, when I didn't have a boyfriend, my friend Matt needed his hair cut. It was at the beginning of the semester, and he had been at school/touring with his singing group all summer. He needed a trim. So I volunteered. I had never done it before, but, come on...how hard can it be, right? Yeah, it was a mess. The lines were crooked, and I cut one side too short. Thank GOD Ashley was there to fix my mistake. We didn't tell Matt until it was all over. We all had a good laugh over it. Our friend Michael asked me to give him a trim later that semester, and that time was better, but still not perfect. I'm working on it.

2. How to tie a tie. Seriously, I'm the worst. I went through this phase of being obsessed with "Gossip Girl" (didn't we all?) and Serena van der Woodsen would  wear a tie with basically everything. I needed to do that. So I acquired a crest-laden skinny tie (my grandfather's), and I tied it...into a knot. Not a Windsor, or a half-Windsor, but a legit knot. I Googled it, tied it again, and then decided I wasn't brave enough to actually wear the outfit. Now, my boyfriend is self-sufficient, and has been and currently is a member of different groups that require ties, so he's golden. But, darn it, I'm gonna learn! I will [someday] master the Eldredge Knot!

3. Understanding Why Grilling is OK in February. Seriously, in my house, when our grill goes away in September, it stays covered until May. Grilling is for warmtimes: springtime and summertime. You just sit on the deck, drinking tea, and smelling the charcoal. You don't run out in the middle of winter to fire up the grill! But, apparently, you do. Those were the best Valentine's Day steaks ever, and I'm sorry I ever doubted the genius of year-round grilling.

Bonus: Something I'm kind of good at:
-Knowing things about sports. I've always liked sports! I played soccer for seven years, I've always bled Penn State Blue and White (it's a family thing), and I attended a college with a very successful athletics program. College Basketball had kind of always been my thing. I'm a Duke fan, and if you know anything about that, you'll be shocked to hear that my boyfriend is a UNC fan. It's been a rough season... for one of us. When I first met him, I soon found out that he was going to school for my literal dream job: A sportscaster/commentator. I would have said "yes" right then and there if he had asked me.  BUT, that's mushy-gushy stuff for another time.
I rarely ask questions during games. Not because of the "Thou Shalt Not Interrupt A Man While He Is Watching Sports" rule, but because I know what's going on about 80% of the time. (The other 20% is stats/NFL).  And I know what's going on because I want to know and because my daddy taught me well; Not because I feel the need to impress my boyfriend. He has told me multiple times that he wouldn't care if I didn't know anything about sports. It's just an added bonus that I can keep up with him and I'm willing to sit for a few hours and cheer on whatever team we're watching. Unless it's UNC. I will NOT cheer for UNC.

So, I want to know, what are some things you had to learn when you started dating?

Shine Bright!
-s.