Dreamspace -5/19/2013-

I walked onto the stage.  There was a man at the table

There was a body on the ground, bloody; bruised; beaten. 

he said "You know she would have wanted me to do this to her." 

Instantly I knew where I was. 

Everyone knows not to think about your dreams. Or you'll loose them. 

I refocus. Two more men at the table. It was clear who the one was:

rich. status. wealth.

But you could tell it was all fading into the past

And then I saw her; there she was. 

The most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Anyone you talk to knows that she is tragically wrapped up in a beautiful lie of a life.

I sat next to her, suddenly aware of my large sweatshirt and sweatpats. 

She was clad with diamonds; pearls; love; tragedy.

I took her hand. 

She pressed mine against her cheek. 

I did the same. 

She looked deep into my eyes. 

And I wept. 

The rich man placed his hand on my shoulder and directed my attention to the slats in the back wall.

"There it is. See it? It's blinking. Like a heartbeat." 

The Green Light. 

I wanted to go there. I wanted to follow it's pulse, I wanted it to sweep me away. 

In my awakespace I knew that it was real at one time. I didn't know if it still existed. I never longed to know.

But seeing it now, I needed to go there. 

The beautiful woman drew a ragged breath, and said those iconic words: 

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." 

There is a beat; darkness; applause. The magic is gone.

 The icons fade. 

The body had slipped away, changing into curtain call clothes, I assume.

 I'm left with normal, everyday people, dressed in parts. 

We gather for our bow. 

I realize it's a dress rehearsal. 

I approach and do a goofy curtsy. 

We all stand centerstage;

 laughing; joking; talking about sports. 

Everything-- normal. 

We get lectured on curtain call etiquette. 

a boy questions: "Wait, we have to grab hands? Who does that anymore?" 

"Every Broadway cast." i reply. 

I turn to face the back of the stage. 

The light is gone. It was just a lighting effect.

Ironically, without it, my hope fades.

What do I trust now?

***

I sigh 

and 

I'm back. 

My awakespace slowly creeps in, and I reflect on the details. 

I realize:

 Even when I awake, I'm drawn to it. 

I'm determined: 

Someday, I will chase, and catch, that green light.