Lately, (always), I've been seeing girls talking on social media about being alone, being betrayed by a guy or becoming a cat lady in the future (most recently 15 Reasons Why Having A Cat Is Better Than Having A Boyfriend). Honestly, I think that is silly.
Now, I know everyone has a story, and I love and respect that so much! I love that there are girls who are focusing on their careers, or other pursuits, and feel that single is the way to go. Relationships aren't for everyone, and value and self-worth don't come from being linked with someone. I love reading dialogue about being your own person, and how the person you will marry won't "complete" you or be your "other half." It's so cool to see so much positive growth and learning in single ladies that I love and/or look up to.
That being said: I hate feeling guilty about being in a relationship. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Well Star, it sounds like you should examine your blah blah blah priorities, blah blah blah, guilt complex, blah blah blah."
I see that attempt at rationalization and I raise you this: I am one of the least guilt-ridden people you will ever meet. So, it's not that. I just...feel bad that not everyone is happy. Once again, I know true happiness doesn't come from being with someone in a romantic relationship. But I see so much hopelessness from a lot of single girls, and in my gut I just feel...guilty. I never would have guessed that this type of guilt existed in relationships. So, a note to the single girls, you aren't the only ones affected by your feelings when you are single.
Anyway.
I love cats! But when I see articles like the one above, (especially #9: my boyfriend is the LEAST distracting person in the world), I just want to say, "I have a boyfriend, but I love Cricket and Tater-Tot too, and they're my favorite cats EVER!"
I don't say it enough, but I appreciate and I'm incredibly proud of the man I'm in a relationship with. He accepts me for who I am, and we balance each other out very well. He's a hard worker, incredibly motivated, and graduating with dual degrees this weekend. Pretty sure Tater-Tot is just good at swatting at my behind when I walk through the door. Score 1 for the boyfriend.
I don't know...maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of the cat thing...
I'm pretty sure I was doing the whole "thank GOD I'm single" thing about 14 months ago, so I'm not faulting these girls at all. I just wish there was a way to say: "Hey...being in a relationship is not totally bad, so let's just try to avoid generalizing and stereotyping." I would never, ever consciously post something on social media that said "Girls who are single are that way because [fill in the blank]" or something to purposefully bring up negative feelings in others. And if I do, please tell me. {Note: I blog about my relationship because it's a part of my life. I really try not to brag. I promise.}
I don't value someone based on their relationship status. I care about them as people, right where they are, no matter what's going on, and I support them in the expression of their feelings. But I think that we do ourselves a great disservice by assuming how our lives are going to end up. Positive thinking yields positive results. Negative thinking yields negative results. Whether you believe it or not, God and you have great control over what path(s) your life will take.
Additionally, out of all the threats I see about being cat ladies, I see a lot of the same girls post about good, healthy relationships, whether they are romantic relationships or deep friendships. The good news is, you can have it both ways!
Cats are great, and so are real human relationships. In fact, you can learn a lot about humans from cats (and/or most animals), and vice versa. No matter how furry, annoying, or distracting, neither should be neglected. They should be nurtured, and cared for, and loved unconditionally. Right where they are: if they're on the couch next to you watching ESPN, or sitting on your desk giving you an adorable face.
I'll let you decide which is the cat and which is the boy.
PS: Here are pictures of my cats. Cricket is the grey one, and Tator-Tot They are cute.
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