Long Distance:A Short Piece

If you had told me in May of 2012 that a year later I would be dating someone who was two hours away, I would have laughed in your face. I would have said, "Nah, dude. Just going to have a showmance this summer. Nothing more, nothing less." Fast forward to July. God was like "Just kidding, here, try this instead..." There was a boy, and we spent the month just taking walks, talking, going to and from rehearsals together, and just having fun.Then August came, and that's when I ended up 180 miles away from him, back in my small town. It was weird. It wasn't like it was the end of the semester, and you pinky-swore to be BFFs forever. This was our first real, grown-up relationship. And we would not be together everyday. 

Being in a long distance relationship is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It's not tragic like some romance movies make it out to be (Example: "The Notebook." 365 hand-written letters all confiscated by a mother? Ain't nobody got time for dat!), and it's not as tumultuous and promiscuous as "Like Crazy": The movie with that sweet young couple who was separated by the Atlantic Ocean and mountains of Immigrant visa paperwork. (It also has really great poetic moments, and good picture-quotes: see below).
No, we are fortunate enough to have supportive parents who make sure we get to see each other, we are in the same state, and both of us are legal citizens of the U.S., so deportation is not a threat. (Side note: for those of you who don't know, my sister lives 15 minutes from my boyfriend. Convenient, right?)

In spite of all the positives, our long distance relationship, like any non-scripted relationship, has been anything but glamorous. 

The last 9 months of my life have been un-matchable. Peppered with so many emotions, a lot of prayer and growth on both his part and mine, and within our relationship. I think some of the challenges we are facing in our separate lives, (I'm trying to finish school, he's actively job-searching), would be overblown if we were together all of the time. Being apart has let us learn about ourselves away from another person. I'm not attached to his hip or relying on him for every little thing. I've learned how to read him even over Facebook Chat. I've figured out when to think before I speak as to not overwhelm him, (this is a shock to my system...I don't know how to handle it sometimes), and I'm getting better at adjusting to his busy schedule even though I have far less to do than he does. Seriously, I have functioned without him for 24 years, I can survive being two hours apart. 
Is it rewarding? Absolutely. Honestly, I am learning a lot about life and dedication and this has been one big exercise in patience for me. 
Is it sometimes awful? Yes. Some days it feels like this: 

Is it frustrating to see other people upset and missing their significant other even though they're a short distance apart? Incredibly. It baffles me. At first, being apart was just frustrating. But now, I try really hard not to whine about the distance. But other people do complain and it gets annoying. It got to the point where I created a meme about it and laughed for a long time.
At the same time, I have mad respect for military families who do this multiple times a year. They are the true champions of long distance relationships, and I admire them a lot! 

It was right after the meme that I was discussing this with a friend. He reminded me that the people who tend to complain about their relationships aren't in them for very long. It reminded me that I need to be thankful for what I'm learning while I'm in this season of my life, instead of wishing away the days that I do have. I have a feeling that kind of contentment will come in handy once we are ready to be geographically together. 

There's not real formula to successfully surviving long distance relationship; Trust me, I've looked.
My advice/reminders/pep-talk to myself and to anyone in a long distance relationship is simply this: 

 I refuse to complain about the distance aspect of my relationship. It's been 9 months. It is what it is. It's not perfect, but it's handled. With maturity comes acceptance. And the willingness to persevere and push through the sludge&distance and have faith in your relationship. Trust God, trust each other, trust yourself, and trust the "us" and the "we" and the "together" even if you're apart.